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The Stone Floats Away

my eyes open a loud speaker BOOMS softly birds and cats cackle an Indian flute whistles in the distant background Jesus looks at me with Love bloody whips washed feet broken bread torn flesh cups of wine a bloody square a sermon perched on rocks clouds form a spear stabs a mother’s kiss wrapped in white linen the stone floats away…

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David Williams

Date: 2/22/2014 2:23:00 PM

Alex I like the content but it does fall too fast on the eye and can anything BOOM softly? keep writing...David

Alex Roth
Date: 2/22/2014 4:00:00 PM

Here's the thing: I am an impressionistic, surrealist. I am not going for straight-forward realism in any of my poems, especially this one. I think the failure is yours, not mine. I think that you simply cannot comprehend my level of originality.

Carly Larkin

Date: 2/21/2014 5:06:00 PM

my suggestion would be to maybe play around with the line length and the spacing as to make it easier on the eyes:) Good start though, keep writing :)

Alex Roth
Date: 2/22/2014 4:01:00 PM

Here's the thing: I am an impressionistic surrealist. I am not going for straight-forward realism in any of my poems, especially this one. I think the failure is yours, not mine. I think that you simply cannot comprehend my level of originality.