Alex Roth Poet Free verse

The Stone Floats Away

my eyes open

a loud speaker

BOOMS softly

birds and cats cackle

an Indian flute

whistles 

in the distant

background

Jesus looks at me

with Love

bloody whips

washed feet

broken bread

torn flesh

cups of wine

a bloody square

a sermon 

perched on rocks

clouds form

a spear stabs

a mother’s kiss

wrapped in white

linen

the stone floats

away…

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David Williams February 22, 2014 at 2:23 PM Alex I like the content but it does fall too fast on the eye and can anything BOOM softly? keep writing...David Alex Roth February 22, 2014 at 4:00 PM Here's the thing: I am an impressionistic, surrealist. I am not going for straight-forward realism in any of my poems, especially this one. I think the failure is yours, not mine. I think that you simply cannot comprehend my level of originality.

Carly Larkin February 21, 2014 at 5:06 PM my suggestion would be to maybe play around with the line length and the spacing as to make it easier on the eyes:) Good start though, keep writing :) Alex Roth February 22, 2014 at 4:01 PM Here's the thing: I am an impressionistic surrealist. I am not going for straight-forward realism in any of my poems, especially this one. I think the failure is yours, not mine. I think that you simply cannot comprehend my level of originality.