Home » Poems » Mike Hauser » The Still Or Leave It To Beaver

The Still Or Leave It To Beaver

As I rounded the hill
Face to face with the still
That I'd only heard rumors spoke of

With no one around
I sat myself down
And proceeded to sample the stuff

As sweet as honeydew melon 
Got my feet to a geling
Made me feel like I did in my youth

Sat with a dumb gaze for a while
Then got the biggest of smiles
When it came to me what I should do

So I went with my plan
And opened a stand
Right there on the mountain side

When word in the forest got out
I never had any doubt
That all of the critters would be stoping by

You should have seen them all  guzzle
As the squirrels ordered doubles 
Then proceeded to tell wild nutty lies

It was quite the fiasco
When they brought out the cowboy hats and  lasso's
As the party went well into the night

They paid in nuts and berries
Which was fine by me
With them I made different flavors of shine

In flavors I made 32
So I wouldn't get sued 
By Baskin-Robbins who has 31 at this time

From all the flavors I made
Boysenberry was the fav
The raccoons made up a dance called the boysenberry crawl

Which was a big hit
At the discotheque
The beavers built in the early fall

We made a deal
I would sell them my swill 
For a little piece of the pie

We were all getting rich
I have to admit 
It's quite the relationship, the beavers and I

Of course the beavers got greedy
You know how beavers are needy
Couldn't leave well enough alone

Figured they had the right
Who's going to pay for these lights
That make this the best disco in town

They started charging a cover
Which didn't go over
As well as they would have liked

Plus they doubled the price of the booze
Which left little food
On the woodland creatures tables at night

Things went from bad to worse
When they started to curse 
Me, "The Man" for the troubles they had

I barely made it out alive 
By the skin of my hide
When I packed and hit the road mighty fast

Things had been going so well
Before it all went to hell
And me and my still were forced to leave

Now still to this day
You know why I always say
That famous line, passed down in time
"Leave it to Beav"

funnyhumorrhyme

♡Like0

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.