The Sham

the sex is good the company is better the times they have bring new laughs that carry on into the rest of the day the smiles they share are brought into other aspects of their lives & the ability to be jealous isn’t supposed to be there because everything is cool man everything is cool--- but when not together, s/he is chomping at the bit, ****, s/he’d dowse her nails in fertilizer if s/he thought she could grow them back faster (just to bite them all off again), nervous at the thought that at any moment the other party with which so much fun is being had now, is banging away the night with someone who very well could be better at sex & even better company, whose laughs might carry on even further into the week & whose smiles might even be brighter--- then the thought that paralyzes comes into focus, that the last time they were together could have been the last time they will ever be together because the person that they are out with right now could replace them & the phone stares up at them (but they can’t call, no that isn’t cool) & the individual letter keys whisper “text text text away” (but they can’t do that either, not cool, not cool)--- so the wait throughout the day seems worthless, because if they had never met this other individual this topsy-turvy nightmare would not be occurring--- so it eats & it eats & it eats at her/him, that what s/he wants to be serious has to stay on casual footing because to try & push it any further might just push away the other person who is having fun with the way things are, so they try to comfort themselves making deals with their own psyche that if the other person doesn’t commit at said date that they will up & go, to find someone that will.