The Secret Weapon

Well, I finally got a great Idea I know how we can win this war And if they do exactly what I tell them to We won't be bothered anymore You see, all they would have to do Is drop my mother-in-law from a plane She wouldn't even need a parachute And she'd drive those people insane Now I know we don't believe in torture And we got that Geneva Convention But we'd just have to let them people know That torture was not our intention But I've heard, "All is fair in Love and War" And they will just have to understand Osama Bin Laden thinks he's a tough guy But my mother-in-law is more of a man She even has a bigger beard than him And I think she even knows kung fu Wait!, maybe it's hemorrhoids she has So that last part's probably not true Anyway, she's a lean, mean fighting machine Okay, she's not lean, that woman weighs a ton She kinda reminds you of a Tyrannosaurus Rex So Osama better be able to run Now that woman even has a little flatulence You know, (....whispers....) "Gas" So she can even bring chemical warfare And they better be wearing a mask Now, I'm just saying, she a secret weapon You know, kinda like the atom bomb All we gotta do is send her over there And Osama will be crying for his mom