The Searching (1995)

I’ve been dying inside for so many years
I’ve bee searching for a cure
I try so hard to understand what my body is telling me
I can feel my heart aching, the void I feel is so strong
I’ve been searching for ways to fill what was never given as a boy
I had love once and for a time my heart and soul were content
But I put my happiness at jeopardy long ago
And since that time I just haven’t been the same
I’ve accomplished so many things in such a short time
But I’m being engulfed by rage anger
The beast within my soul will not leave me alone
My heart, mind and soul are not sound
I can feel that I am at war with myself
I’ve been exercising my body and mind 
But my soul is lost in the abyss
This hollow feeling of loneliness
So many emotion are building up inside
My quest for happiness seems to be an endless journey.
I’m breathing so heavy lately and 
the pain within my chest grows stronger
the building of my foundation is weighing me down
the child inside is hiding but I can hear him crying
my smile has disappeared and my eyes have become so sad.
I have no strong religious belief.
I’ve been seeking exodus in so many alternate ways.
They say you must love yourself first
In order to gain peace with your own inner beast
I must face all of my fears, it is only then that this dead and 
empty feeling will heal the child inside.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2007



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