Home » Poems » Amanda Sebring » The Scars On Your Arms

The Scars On Your Arms

I found you in my peripheral the other day
Thought I had scrubbed you out, but i was wrong
And I hear that I'm off your radar but I can't believe that
Or I won't believe that

Cause you were like a drug dealer
Dealing listening ears and crying shoulders
Dealing blood and tears and sly winks
But you never shoot your own junk
Just made sure we were all buying

And now I still can't drive by 12th and D
Without trying to remember
Who got cuffed to the porch rail
Cause they were getting outta hand
Or that night you pointed your claw at me
And marked me for your own

You'd always tell me that I knew why
I knew the reason didn't I
Abd I was too scared to tell you no
No, sorry, man, I didn't know
Still don't

But I still can't drive past Java Jazz
Or where it used it be
Without seeing you rock out to The Sickness for the thousandth time

When everybody else got clean of you, I was the one who still had the shakes
It took six people to talk me down
Open my eyes
It took bolt cutters to sever those strings

And now I'm standing by myself, bleeding into this wine glass for no real reason
Guess I'll put on a band aid and start walking
Might as well put down the blades and start walking
That's all I've ever known how to do
Just sew it up and move on

But I think you know why I still can't walk the railroad tracks without casting glances to my back
To see if you're still there

You're not
But you knew that

Maybe we'll see face to face again sine day, 
But we'll sure never bleed vein to vein again someday
And I think you know why

And maybe someday I'll walk down 14th without looking up to the balcony reminding myself that time-turners aren't real

I guess I still hold on because I know that when I finally let it go, it'll be gone

And all the time I spent working my way to your right hand will have been a waste

but even if I can't abide the vampiric twinkle in your eye I know that somehow I'm still under your skin
In your veins

I know that our book is still open like a wound
Like the scars on your arm
And before I slap on the band aid and walk away I guess I just need to say
That I'll never walk down the railroad tracks again without tossing a glance over my shoulder

Wishing you were still there

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