The Road To Life

I can't pin point when it started, where everything went wrong and I got left behind discarded, it might have started back in the day, family in turmoil forever in dismay, we were torn apart, separated and forced to split, playing both sides of the fence I was torn and split. I remember when it all took place, I took my first toke hit my first joint, needless to day I was slipping away and that was my point, road to addiction and apathy, not caring about whatever lies ahead of me, looking for that escape that one hit, drown my sorrows in alcohol and keep that bong lit, white lines leading to a false reality and get away, falling further and further under the surface, unsure and doubting myself believing I had no purpose, on the path to self destruct with no way to construct, just straight up ****ed, I remember back in the day I was a good kid, perfect student in every class I had an a, loving family everything seemed perfect, but life had another plan for me and my fam, all the good times seemed to have faded, family dinners smiles and laughter the memories are out of reach and I'm left just jaded, the only relationship I can safely say was destroyed by my addiction, my girl of seven years lost without a rhyme or reason. Other than my own selfishness I betrayed her trust and repayed her loyalty with treason, after losing I became clean, doing extremely well going to school and working a functioning member of society and the sober team, the elation was short lived and no way to blow off that much steam, at the peak of serenity to be be brought down to nothing, thought I was expecting, a child a new life, a new reason to get myself right, but I was unable to get into contact, no way to talk left alone with my thoughts, crushed for over a month, the epitome of bell in my eyes, no happiness just sorrows, frustrations and cries, not the way I thought my life was supposed to be screaming up to the heavens why are you doing this and testing me, completely broken with nothing left inside, emotionless with everything to hide, but today is a new day and there's always a new tomorrow, no longer wishing to change the past and asking for time to borrow, no longer just a skeleton and hollow, living life to the fullest giving myself a second chance, although from the outside it may not seem like it at a quick glance, I know what I want for myself and my life, stay on this positive road wish upon that shooting star tonight, that everything will be how I know I can be, to be comfortable in my own skin, persevere through the struggles and be addiction free, basically saying I just want to be me.