The Revelation of My Attraction

I came to the revelation at thirty- three
That I'd been attracted to thre type of man that 1st violated me

His strength, his eyes, the tone of his skin
Never once thinking my attraction had a deeper meaning

Maybe it was from being shown attention in my father's absence at the age of 9 
or 10
He thought our secret would go no further than between me and him

The feelings my adolescent body felt when he touched me that day
I didn't have the words to verbalize, or too ashamed to say

If I stayed silent and muffled my inner screams
I could pretend it was only a bad dream

I never understood why I had been the chosen one
When there had been other siblings he could have chose from

Crying out at night, "God what had I done wrong"?
But, possibly the other two would not have been as strong

I didn't know why I felt this way
I had no idea until I revisited this pain today

With the knowledge of this new revelation
I must change my thought process and my attraction

Realizing now that by sharing my personal testimony
It will be able to free someone just like it freed me

So they may have a revelation of their own so they can see
Issues from childhood don't have to define the person you can grow to be
Copyright © | Year Posted 2007

Poem

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Davis Avatar
August 5, 2011 at 12:01 PM
Wow…a very disturbing well written piece. Although our lives are shaped by our minds… our minds can reshape our life. When we know better we can do better… the best is still to come. Wishing you so much happiness -Joanna Davis
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