THE RETARDED POET OF TAMPA BAY MENTAL HEALTHCARE SPECIAL AGENT LEROY HEIMBACH

AFTER RETURNING FROM THOMAS MANN TOWN OF MUNICH GERMANY DAYCARE TEACHER FOR USAF FORT SHERIDAN ARMY BASE JUST A STAY AT HOME MOM HOW I BECAME A RETARDED POET IT WAS ACTUALLY AFTER TRANSFERRING MY GOVERMENT EMPLOYMENT FROM GREATLAKES MANY BASE TO MACDILL AIRFORCE I THOUGHT I WOULD JUST START OVER FORGET ABOUT THE SEVERE SCARS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WEARING WIRES PREGNANT FOR THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION ARLINGTON HEIGHTS ILLINOIS CHICAGO FIELD OFFICE MY FIUR CHILDREN AND I TRAVEL FROM CHICAGO TO LAKE BLUFF IN ORDER TO HAVE THE FEMALE AGENT SPECIAL AGENT PAULA BRAND TO INSTALL THE WIRES SO THAT WE COUKD GET INSIDE BUY LARGE AMOUNTS OF NARCOTICS FROM CORRUPT COPS IN NORTH CHICAGO ILLINOIS THIS OPERATION WAS INVESTTIGATING CLIFFORD JONES HE HAD 21 DEALERS UNDER HIM INCLUDING MY STORE MANAGER AT GREATLAKES THEY WOULD LAUNDER THE CORRUPT OFFICERS DRUGS THROUGH GREATLAKES A FEW CIA AGENTS CARRIED THE DUFFLE BAGS SWITCHING BAGS WITH THE DEALER KEEPING THE FBI AT BAY MEANWHILE CROOKED COPS WORKING SECURITY SELLING DRUGS FIR GANGS AND THE JAMAICAN CARTEL FINALLY MY ABUSIVE EX HUSBAND HIS JOB WAS TO JUST TEST THE DRUGS OUT TO MAKE SURE THE NARCOTICS WAS REAL DOPE HE WAS ALWAYS JUNK SICK PUNCHING ME KICKING BURING MY CLOTHES ASSAULTING ME IN THE VERY WORSE WAY WELL I'D LEFT IT ALL BEHIND NEW BEGINNING BUYING A HOME IN TAMPA TWO MINUTES FROM MY JOB MACDILL AIRFORCE I'D WORKED THERE A FEW TIMES BEING A MILITARY WIFE IT WAS A BLESSING TO HAVE USAF IT WAS A QUIET DAY AUTUMN POT LUCK A HUGE TABLE CRUSHED MY FOOT SEVERE PAIN BUT TO MY SURPRISE I BEGAN HEARING VOICES OF THE FBI AGENTS I BELIEVED I WAS BACK THERE WUTH MY STORE MANAGERS LAUNDERING CROOKED COPS DRUG MONEY ON BASE GREATLAKES NAVY BASE I WAS FILLED WITH FEAR PANIC MY HEAD SPINNING AROUND TRAUMATIC EVENTS MY ABUSIVE EX HUSBAND PULLING MY HAIR OUNCHING KICKING BLOOD SO.MUCH.BLOOD ME HIDING BLOOD STAINS FROM THE FBI I WAS EMBARRASSED FIR BRING ABUSED BY A JUNK SICK MAN KICKED OUT OF THE ARMY WITH A NOTHING TO LOSE ATTITUDE HE MADE ME PAY FOR THAT HE BEAT ME SENSELESS KNOCKING ME UNCONSCIOUS BY HITTING ME ON MY BRAIN STEM HE SAID IT WAS SO THE BRUISES WOULDN'T SHOW HERE I WAS HEARING MY FETUS HEARTBEATS DO LOUD BUT WHY NOW MY THERAPIST TOLD ME IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS AWAY FROM THE ABUSE AWAY FROM WEARING WIRES MY BRAIN WAS IN FIGHT FLIGHT MODE I PANICED BEGAN CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY DEPRESSED UNABLE TO RETURN TO WORK DUEBTO SEVERE MENTAL BREAK PANIC DISORDER DEPRESSION ANXIETY SEVERE PTSD EEOC OF TAMPA ON POLK STREET GUIDING ME BUT I WAS LOST I TRULY FELT RETARDED SENATOR BOB GRAHAM THE PATEL FAMILY OF PSYCHOLOGY PSYCHIATRY GOT ME THROUGH SOME HORRID MENTAL BREAKS MACDILL WAS GREAT THEY MADE HOUSE CALLS TO HELP ME ONGOING MEDICATIONS MENTAL HEALTHCARE I BEGAN TO TALK MORE IN TALK THERAPY I SHOWED MY THERAPIST MY JOURNAL MY POEMS SHE TOLD ME NEVER EVER STOP WRITING SHE SAID WRITING IS AN EXCELLENT WAY TO EXPRESS WHAT I JUST COULDN'T SAY I HAD WRITTEN ABOUT WEARING WIRES PREGNANT FOR THE FBI BUYING WEAPONS AND DRUGS FROM JUNK SICK COPS I WROTE ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE I ALSO WROTE ABOUT THE ARSON MURDERS OF 9 THE REASON THE FBI INSTALLED WIRES ON MY WOMB THEY TOLD ME MY HUSBAND AND GARGANO MURDERED ALL TJOSE ELDERLY PERSONS IN A FIRE MY LIFE WAS IN GRAVE DANGER THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE MY KIDS AND I WAS TO WEAR THE WIRES PREGNANT THE FBI WOUKD SWITCH THE JUDGES AND GET CIRO GARGANO PRISON TIME CUT IN HALF AFTER THAT WE WOULD BE OKAY NOTHING WAS OKAY IT WAS TOO LATE I WAS VERY ILL HEARING HEARTS BEATS AT WORK HEARING THE GERMANY AGENT GOING OVER AND OVER AND OVER IT WAS CLEAR I HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I CRIED DURING DOCTORS VISIT I CRIED WHILE COOKING DINNER BRAIDING MY GIRLS HAIR IT WAS A BLESSING MY SON ASK TO TAKE ONE OF MY POEMS TO SCHOOL 1999 HIS TEACHER GAVE HIM AN ENQUIRE MAGAZINE TO GIVE TO ME SO I COULD ENTER ONE OF MY POEMS IN HIS CONTEST FOR MS SURVIVORS SO I DID THEY ADORED MY POETRY THIS INSPIRED ME MY SONS TEACHER AFTERWARDS I BEGAN EXPLORING MY GIFT I WAS NO SCHOLAR I REALLY WAS RETARDED AND I THOUGHT OF SO MANY POETS FAMOUS POETS THAT KILLED THEMSELVES THEY ONLY TRULY BECAME FAMOUS AFTER DEATH PEOPLE WILL FOREVER READ THE SELFISH ACT OF SUICIDE NOT HOW GREAT A POET THEY WERE I REALIZED GREAT POETS ARE INDEED MENTAL.ILL SELF MEDICATING WRITING IN A JOURNAL I WAS SO ASHAMED OF THIS STIGMA BUT IT WAS TRUE LIVING IN TAMPA SENATOR BOB GRAHAM CALLS MACDILL HELPED ME RECIEVE MY WORKERS COMPENSATION MY DISABILITY I THOUGHT WRITING WAS VERY HEALING I AGREED WITH MY THERAPIST SO I WROTE EVERYDAY FUNNY THATS WHEN GARGANO BEGAN BREAKING INTO MY HOME RIPPING PAGES IT ANGERED HIM WHEN I WROTE ABOUT THE ARSON MURDERS IT WAS ONLY FOR HEALING WAS RATTING HIM OUT I JUST NEEDED THE SIRENS TO STOP MY FETUS HEARTBEATS WAS SO LOUD ONLY KLONOPIN BUSPRIONE CALMS THE PANIC ATTACKS DOWN I FEARED FOR MY LIFE I FEARED HE WOULD KILL ME FOR WRITING ABOUT THE MURDRRS I KELP MY POEM IN A FRAME AFRICAS JOY THE WITNESS AND THE MONSTER AT HOME DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR CIRO GARGANO LEFT A THREAT BEHIND TO.MIND MY OWN BUSINESS SCRATCH ARSON MURDERS OFF MY JOURNAL IT WAS TOO LATE MY THERAPIST AND I WENT A LONGNTIME TO GET ME TO A SAFE PLACE AT ANYRATE HE SENT A JAMAICAN TALIBAN IDENTITY THIEVES INTO MY HOME TO STEAL DOCUMENTS MARTIAGE BIRTH DEATH OBITUARIES HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA EVEN IMMUNIZATION RECORDS I REALIZED ONLY AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT FROM JAMAICAN WOULD WANT THESE DOCUMENTS I GUESS HE NEEDED TO GAIN ROYALTIES OFF MY MENTAL HEALTH JOURNAL THEY ARRIVED WITH A GUNMAN TO.KILL ME OVER MY DISABLED AMERICAN POETRY I WAS IN COMPLETE SHOCK REALIZING I AM A RETARD I DESERVED TO BE BULLIED BY THE MAFIA THE GUNMAN WAS KILLED AT MY FEET RELIEVED BUTNI KNEW HIS FEMALE DEALERS WERE STILL ALIVE WORKING FOR GARGANO OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE AND FALSIFYING DOCUMENTS AFTER THE MURDER MY FAMILY RELOCATED ONLY TO HAVE A CAR BOMB IGNITE MY FACE TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY MY GOD EVERYTHING WAS NOW 3D THE PTSD ANXIETY DISORDER PANIC DISORDER HERE I WAS RUTH COOPER MENTAL HEALTH FORT MYERS AFRAID MY BRAIN WOULD STOP WRITING HELPED ME COPE BUT NOW IT WAS AN INVOLUNTARY COMPULSIVE UNCONTROLLABLE WRITING I WROTE OVER 20 POEMS A DAY BROKEN GRAMMER DIDN'T MATTER I WROTE BECAUSE I WAS SUFFERING FROM SEVERE MENTAL.ILLNESS I COULDN'T STOP IT I SAT AT MY ELLIOT NESS DESK BLEEDING FROM MY EYES EARS AN YET I STILL WROTE LIKE I WAS SOME KIND OF ARTIST USING ONE FINGER TO TYPE I FORGOT HOW TO HOLD A FORK HOW TO TIE MY SHOE SITTING IN MY OWN URINE I FORGOT HOW TO PEE MY KIDS WOULD SAY MOMMY YOU WET YOURSELF STOP WRITING I COULDN'T I HAD SLIPPED INTO A RETARDED STATE MEANWHILE AWARDS POURED IN EXCELLENT POEM YOLANDA I THOUGHT I AM WRITING IN MY OWN URINE PANTING AND YET WRITING UNCONTROLLABLY MENTAL ILLNESS GAD SHATTERED ME TO THIS GRAVENESS I NEVER WANTED TO BE A WRITER IT JUST WOULDN'T STOP MY DOCTOR WOULD SAY ITS OKAY KEEP WRITING IT IS HELPING YOU COPE I REALIZED HOW DEPERATE A NEED WRITING WAS WITHOUT IT I WAS QUITE SURE I WOUKD TAKE MY OWN LIFE PAGES AND PAGES MOST WERE HAND WRITTEN SOMETHING TRIGGERED INSIDE ME WHEN CIRO GARGANO AND HIS JAMAICAN TALIBAN IDENTITY THIEVES BROKE INTO MY HOME IN TAMPA THE INVASION OF PRIVACY READING MY MENTAL HEALTH JOURNAL RIPPING MEDICAL RECORDS MY PTSD EXPOSED YO JAMAICAN TALIBAN MY WEARING WIRES PREGNANT FOR THE FBI BUYING WEAPONS AND DRUGS FROM JUNK SICK COPS EXPOSED THE BRUTAL TAUNTING TEASING CALLED ME A RETARD YOU CAN'T WRITE YOU CAN'T READ YOUR TOO STUPID IF YOU ONLY HAD A BRAIN HA HA HA HA CROOKED COPS WERE HELPING GARGANO BULLY ME I FELT LIKE THAT LITTLE BROWN GIRL IN CHICAGO BEING BULLIED MY BOOKS RIPPED RUNNING FOR MY LIFE HELP HELP OH HELP REACHING OUT TO THE FBI SUICIDAL SEVERELY DEPRESSED BROKEN BULLIED BY ABUSE OF POWER MY POETRY IS NOT SCHOLAR MATERIAL I REALIZE TRUE POETS ARE BROKEN SUICIDAL DEPRESSED BEINGS I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A POET I WROTE POETRY TO HEAL TO COPE WITH SEVERE MENTAL TRAUMA IT RESULTED IN UNCONTROLLABLE WRITING DISORDER IT'S A DISEASE OF MY BRAIN NO DIFFERENT THAN NARCOLEPSY TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY USA