The Reptile Hunter

I headed out hunting But the game wasn’t deer Was stocked with beef jerky And a six pack of beer I climbed to my tree stand And tried hard not to cuss Since it was located High up on a cactus There was nothing moving That chill time in the morn So I calmly waited Until the weather warmed As the sun threw its rays Into my eager eyes I was giddy yet poised To bag a reptile prize I had not shot a toad Or much since the harsh rains And was looking forward To some stewed lizard brains Then out from crevices Of warmed shadowy rocks Came snakes and crawly things At about nine o’clock I swiveled in my chair To espy at least one For what I really craved Desert chameleon Which is so tasty grilled Plus paired with a fine wine Would thrill my wife no end Some evening when we dine That’s when I was surprised As if dazed by the sun When in front of my nose Stood a chameleon I could barely see it Backed by its habitat Yet one swipe with a net And then that would be that There was no time for nets Coz I blinked and it flung A pink object toward me Which gross, was its long tongue That snatched from my gaped mouth A fresh piece of jerked meat Which freaked me out so much That I fell from my seat While the rifle went off I amassed cactus spines Mostly lodged, as they say Where the sun doesn’t shine I lost my composure And looking back I think When hunting a hunter I’ll make sure not to blink