The Reptile Hunter
I headed out hunting
But the game wasn’t deer
Was stocked with beef jerky
And a six pack of beer
I climbed to my tree stand
And tried hard not to cuss
Since it was located
High up on a cactus
There was nothing moving
That chill time in the morn
So I calmly waited
Until the weather warmed
As the sun threw its rays
Into my eager eyes
I was giddy yet poised
To bag a reptile prize
I had not shot a toad
Or much since the harsh rains
And was looking forward
To some stewed lizard brains
Then out from crevices
Of warmed shadowy rocks
Came snakes and crawly things
At about nine o’clock
I swiveled in my chair
To espy at least one
For what I really craved
Desert chameleon
Which is so tasty grilled
Plus paired with a fine wine
Would thrill my wife no end
Some evening when we dine
That’s when I was surprised
As if dazed by the sun
When in front of my nose
Stood a chameleon
I could barely see it
Backed by its habitat
Yet one swipe with a net
And then that would be that
There was no time for nets
Coz I blinked and it flung
A pink object toward me
Which gross, was its long tongue
That snatched from my gaped mouth
A fresh piece of jerked meat
Which freaked me out so much
That I fell from my seat
While the rifle went off
I amassed cactus spines
Mostly lodged, as they say
Where the sun doesn’t shine
I lost my composure
And looking back I think
When hunting a hunter
I’ll make sure not to blink
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