The Representative

I used to love a man Who loved to love me baby And he had no problem showing me in every way possible This man I used to love Showed me a level of passion, romance & affection I’d never known In some of the simplest ways ever This man used to talk with me Not TO me…..but with me Giving value to my thoughts, ideas & opinions Not just listening to me But hearing me & appreciating my words This man used to be so affectionate I couldn’t be around him without his hands on me some kind of way Any kind of way Every kind of way And I loved it This man reminded me that it was safe to love someone And that I still deserved to be loved He made me realize that negative experiences & relationships of my past Were just that The past This man made me believe in a future In the possibility of a ‘happily ever after’ With him When I’d given up hope Thinking happily ever afters only existed in the Golden Books of my childhood This man I used to love Allowed me to enjoy sex again and made me feel comfortable with dropping my inhibitions and being exposed With him I allowed the whore within me to reveal herself And he embraced her and loved her too Regardless of how vile and nasty she got This man I used to love Used to love me utterly & completely He made me believe in myself again He made me believe in possibilities He made me believe in him I believed him when he said I could trust him I believed him when he said he would never hurt me I believed him when he said I could depend on him I believed him when he said he’d always be there for me His back against mine as we take on the world I believed in him I never would have thought And still find it hard to believe I was putting all of that belief All of that trust All of that love Into a representative His representative Not really him But just a part of him The part he wanted me to see To know To love He kept hidden the real him He let me find out on my own That he’d lie to serve his own purpose I found out on my own how little my feeling really meant The hardest part though Was finding out that the person I loved so much Didn’t love me the same way I really do miss that representative And I’ll hold on to the memory of him For as long as I live Because even though I didn’t have him long For the short time I did I knew love