Juli Freda Poet Free verse

The Real Me

The visions get worse when you're 
   not around, crying, screaming,
   torturous visions of death on
   purpose, hatred and violence.
How easy it is to kill creeps 
   in, sweeping away common
   sense and calm.  Overtaken
   by dark views of normal
   children, smashed down,
   torn from parents, swept
   away by torents.
Nowhere to turn but you,
   nothing calms me more, keeps
   my thoughts clear.  Am I 
   more than one, am I
   someone else when you're
   not here, who will save
   me when you're gone, if I
   can't save myself.
The visions get worse when night
   comes around, bleeding, cursing,
   clear as day thoughts of how
   to cause harm, death, violence.
How easy it would be to just
   pull the trigger, push off
   the edge.  Overtaken by
   thoughts drumming my mind
   in a beat faster and faster,
   no way to stop the pain.
Nowhere to run but to you,
   into your arms, into peace,
   am I one who has no
   control, one who needs
   your boundaries to keep 
   me under control?
Will I ever know the real me?



Don't worry, I am fine, written for a writing assignment where my character assignment was a dual personality with one as a serial killer.

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