The Race

I have been homeless and hungry abused and abandoned beaten bloody but I never once asked anyone for help not a single dime or a second of their time I didn’t want to be a bother as I was led to believe myself to be by my mother whenever I needed anything as children often do No one ever offered it either It’s probable many had been burned in the past by those who had benefited from their generosity their largesse repaid by betrayal That seems to be the way of the world Nice guys (and girls) finish last as I did the year I volunteered to join my junior high track team though I wasn't very good at running I chose to challenge myself signing up for the mile That’s who I was back then when I believed such a mindset might get me somewhere yet here I am today a grown woman still struggling to survive and going nowhere I continue to wait for it all to work out as some assured me It was easy enough for them to say since in their experience everything did It usually does when you have money a fact I took note of even as a kid I was without fail the final competitor to cross the line though I knew it was over halfway through There would be no trophy or ribbon waiting for me I’d be going home empty handed once again I could have saved myself the exhaustion quitting then but I always finish what I begin