The Prime of Life

I was in the prime of my life on paper, I had a lot to live for. I came from a loving family, that were educated I myself graduated with honors from Harvard. I had an amazing fiance that I adored very much, However I was a phenomenal actress that was very sick. I had bipolar disorder and I hid it from everyone including my family. When I was high I was high, but when I was low I was extremely low. I thought about death every second and hour of day. I couldn't shake it , did I want to die? Of course not but I felt like I had no choice It was something that I had to do. I planned the whole thing, I even picked out my theme music on that melancholy day. I craved death and I was thirsty for it, I wanted my death to remembered as something beautiful. Boy was I in for a rude awakening and a big dose of reality. When my loving man found my lifeless body he wailed and convulsed, He caused me to see that love does not die. But I didn't plan what he did next He went and got the gun we had for protection and took his own life. I replay that scene over and over in my head. For I am stuck in between life and death, It is pure hell and it is torture and far worse than it was when I was alive. Inspired by the “Death” contest 5-17-18