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The Place Within the Fire

Heavy is my soul
its hard to breathe
i tore out the bricks of the fire place
and in the room prior
i ripped up dirty magazines
crupling protsest
so the witches and voices and gods 
would forgive me

I've cried for years
of the perfect crime 
I never got away with
A mental victom o fmy own doing
to the substitute teacher with the last name 
of an alcohol company
and a room fire that spread like word of mouth

Don't do drugs they say now
from town to town
i was known
smart and creative
wise and noble
yeah right
i was going somewhere
going to be a doctor or a nurse
babysitting the parapalegic and autistic
and then fell into the wrong crowd
lost my sanity
dabbled in the occult
and this is the story of the original fire
an epic
of a haunted house

I tore out the bricks of the fire place
never premeditating my crime
I let the cat outside
and repented all of mankinds ways of pornographic clippings 
as i crumple dup page after page to scatter my bedroom floor

i fought it
i struggled
i tried
but the divine intervention 
of the list i was on
of the drug dealers who were out to kill me
was too strong
i had to get out of dodge
and after praying to god and repenting my sins

she kicked me out
and i lit me room on fire

she walked by the broken fireplace
like foreshadowing
never knowing the perfection of its metaphor she would one day speak
of how she was metaphysical chess
and my exit of schindlers list 
and her children were in danger
she walked into my room to tell me to leave and found
crumnpled up naked images
that would later be set aflame
walked downstairs to find her daughter already awake in her bed
terrified by my chanting of repentence of me fighting the evil within
then she found me 
in her habitat
with candles

she told me to leave
the ghosts ahd beckined me
the voices had told me
the oracle had forewarned me
but nothing prepared me for what was happening

i walked into my room
bags already oputside on the curb

i struck the match
now or never
the protest of arson
the protest of drugs 
and selling youth short to alcohol and cigarettes
the protest of ***********
and word of mouth i am trnasformed
such confusion
such wickedness i have become

i never knew gods love 
could do this
save and condemn
be loving and cruel
i lit my room on fire
i still remember the scream
the ambulance and firetruck came

Copyright © Troy Nelson | Year Posted 2006

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