The Perfect Big Sister

I am the ignored big sister, The good big sister, The must be perfect big sister. I look at the high podium that I was forced to build. Why? I don't want this.. My little brother hates me, My Grandparents expect everything from me, My parents expect more from me. No one knows me. You must think I'm a perfect student, I struggled silently for years with anxiety, I have depression. My grades are terrible. I’m failing orchestra. WHY? In an unintentional protest to my parents? I wish I knew. I was perfect for so long, or I tried to be perfect, that I finally snapped. But, I am the perfect big sister, I must pick myself up, I’m the good big sister, I donate baked goods for my brother's troop. But I'm the ignored big sister so nothing I do will be recognised, no one will care if I have to stay up an extra two hours to bake. I am the perfectly good big sister. I hope.