Listen to poem:
The Passionate Pirate
“In the days of pirating
Much pirating was done
Some for gold and riches
Some for glamour, some for fun
But nothing fills a pirate’s head
With such tremendous joy
As when he’s got a lass in Blighty
Waiting for her boy.”
Me schooner lay at anchor as I rowed meself to shore
Buxom Bertha couldn’t wait a single minute more
So as I beached me rowboat, Bertha flattened me right there
And told me, “Take me now, I’ve done me lips and brushed me hair.”
She was like a rampant rabbit… which meant something else back then
Her hands were going everywhere, it felt like she had ten
And then she grabbed me where it counts and said these words to ‘he’
I’m having you for breakfast… and me dinner… and me tea
Well that’s exactly what she did, so I could barely walk
I said, “I’ve still got sea legs, can we just slow down and talk?”
“What the heck,” she said, “You’ve been away so very long.
You should be really gagging for it, lest I’ve got ye wrong.”
So, then she asked if she’s the only girl who waits for me
When I come home to Plymouth after many months at sea
I answered like my head was just a dark and empty vessel
“I’ve got a girl in every port… but you’re the one that’s special!”
She bellowed at me, “Prince or pirate, I won’t share my man
I will not be your bit of spare, if that’s your action plan.’
Because of what I told her next, I haven’t seen her since,
“I HAVE TO SAY, IT’S ONE RARE DAY, THAT YOU WOULD BAG A PRINCE.”
“In the days of pirating
Much pirating was done
Some for gold and riches
Some for glamour, some for fun
But far out on the ocean
All you’ve got is all that’s there
Your musket is your own, but…
There’s not much that you won’t share.”
And so she went and slammed the door and left me all alone
My ears pricked up when suddenly I heard somebody groan
Me boatswain and two gunners and me quartermaster said
“Sorry, Captain,” as they crept from underneath her bed.
I said, “Ye dirty scoundrels, this is what we’re gonna do
We’re gonna sail that ship of ours across the seas of blue
So fill her up with casks of rum to last two months or three
There’s a pretty little filly in Corfu I’d like to see.”
“In the days of pirating
Much pirating was done
Some for gold and riches
Some for glamour, some for fun
But when a pirate goes to sea
There be no finer joy…
Than when the lookout, in the nest, yells…
“CAPTAIN!…… SHIP… AHOY!””
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