The Old-Age Home

It wasn't in India, it wasn't even here, rather, where you wanted it to be my dear, I don't like the food and all the old fogeys, they all just sit there picking their bogeys. We tell stories: some chap worked for Unilevers, was he selling Mars bars in Africa - would you believe us? I was there - they ask me: 'Why did you return?' I'll tell you: 'Before my balls started to burn.' Before I was hacked like Captain Cook in the South Seas, my time was over when I was the 'bee's knees,' however, I miss the wide open spaces when heart races, due to sky and horizon with great interfaces. Now I'd like the time back when I saw a cheetah in my path, If they asked me: 'Did it hurt?' 'Only when I laugh.'