Get Your Premium Membership

The Offering

Ironic tears that spill are mocking me in scathing streaks delighting down my cheeks. They trace their paths as soft as fingertips atop sad ivories caressing pain - but shame me in their scalding disregard and blame me that they even do exist. I ache in death knell spiral of regrets, their embers smolder as they stoke with ire with flaring pain till nothing’s left but ash - besmirched by lust reduced to worthless grey. My life now but an aftertaste of soot; sweet self-indulgence too much to withstand. In sunset mood I grow my shadow’s length in angst I’m reaching out midst twilight guilt, beseeching in day’s fade Salvation’s light; forgiveness of my own abandons me. Oh, burn of sins does choke my soul in smoke as tattered heart is purged upon the pyre. Susan Ashley February 2, 2018 ~ First Place ~ Contest: Contest 600, Any Free Verse, Any Theme, Max 20 Lines Sponsor: Brian Strand

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 5/31/2019 9:26:00 AM
Awesome write Susan...Congrats on your win..
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 5/31/2019 11:51:00 PM
Your wonderful comment and lovely congrats are a joy to receive, Joseph. Thank you and warmest wishes always, my friend.. ~Susan
Date: 5/30/2019 5:23:00 PM
It's great, Susan, it's really great. Please, accept my best congrats)
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 5/30/2019 10:41:00 PM
It is a delight to accept both your wonderful comments and heartwarming congrats, Kurt. Your inspiring presence here is appreciated, my friend.. ~Susan
Date: 5/30/2019 3:01:00 PM
Quite fantastic, Susan:-) Heartiest congratulations on your top win!
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 5/30/2019 10:39:00 PM
Thank you, Edward, for your lovely comments and heartwarming congrats. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 3/6/2019 5:57:00 PM
Hello Susan, wow! That is some offering. have a nice evening my friend.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 4/5/2019 6:29:00 PM
Thank you, my dear friend, Darlene, for your wonderful comments and lovely visit. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem. Please accept my apologies for my late reply. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan
Date: 2/21/2019 12:41:00 AM
My dear Susan, you had created a Magnificent masterpiece.. Such depth and emotions.. As always, dear Poetess your talent shines beautifully!! Many blessings!
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/23/2019 9:52:00 PM
Thank you, Robertina, for your uplifting comments. Your gracious presence and esteemed and positive feedback fills me with inspiration and delight. It pleases me immensely to know that you enjoyed my poem.. My warmest wishes to you always.. ~Susan
Date: 2/19/2019 11:07:00 AM
the title, the spiritual journey... the tortured soul... you have given voice to the human plight of falling short of our intended glory. Beautiful flowing free verse...
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/23/2019 9:50:00 PM
Your esteemed comments thrill me to no end, P.S. Thank you for feeling the heart and soul of my poem and for your insightful feedback, it pleases me immensely to know that you enjoyed my poem.. My warmest wishes to you always.. ~Susan
Date: 2/10/2019 10:14:00 PM
Well, this is certainly virtuosotic --(pardon my suffixation there, please). Tantalizing turns of phrases spiral downward into the gray ashes of the sinner's Pyre... Yes … And, my dear friend, I worry a tad that this actually reflects even the slightest besmirchment -- (there's that suffixation again) -- in your virginal, alabaster soul. Please reassure me that all is well deep in the sylvan woods of your poetic heart, and that the first syllable of your surname haunts you not! ~ gw
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/13/2019 6:43:00 PM
Gershon, your inspiring comments both tickle and touch my heart. Thank you for your precious thoughts and for your concern for the sanctity of my ‘virginal, alabaster soul’.. :)) All is well and the first syllable of my surname haunts me not, my dear friend. Warmest wishes always, dear poet.. ~Susan
Date: 2/9/2019 1:49:00 PM
You held me from beginning to end, in the grip of this piece. Well done.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/10/2019 10:10:00 AM
Thank you, M.L., for your inspiring comments. I’m delighted to know you enjoyed my poem and I truly appreciate your esteemed sentiments. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 2/8/2019 12:54:00 PM
such a riveting piece finely embellished with artful lines, susan... graceful all the way!... huggs
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/10/2019 10:15:00 AM
Nette, I’m always delighted by the beauty of your artful comments. Your gracious presence and esteemed comments are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 2/7/2019 8:15:00 AM
My dear friend, I find this to be a true free verse gem. One that so deeply expresses sadness, loss and frustration at the inconsistencies in life and the betrayals/failures in relationships. Such brooding darkness composed and given to us by a very, very talented poet and dear friend! A fav.. a true gem..
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/10/2019 7:16:00 PM
My dear friend, please accept my apologies for my late reply to your beautiful comments that truly touch my heart. I hope to have more of a presence here again soon. Thank you for your heartwarming friendship, Robert, and for your esteemed sentiments and for the fav. You are so appreciated, my wonderful friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 2/6/2019 4:07:00 PM
"Besmirched by lust reduced to worthless grey" That's my favorite line. I also really like "In sunset mood I grow my shadow’s length", too. I hope you are fairing well. You did mention some circumstances that have been holding you back as of late. Best wishes. I always enjoy reading your work. Always, Laura
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/10/2019 7:07:00 PM
Dear Laura, I’m elated by your wonderful visit and esteemed sentiments. My apologies to you for my late reply but health issues of a very close family member have kept me busy. I appreciate the kindness of your friendship and your precious comments. Thank you and warmest wishes always, my inspiring friend.. ~Susan
Date: 2/6/2019 3:00:00 PM
Your free verse style is always amazing, Susan. Look how powerful the emotions are here! Descriptions like "sunset mood" and "twilight guilt" are unique, creative and stunning. Love this one, a fave for me. Best wishes, Carolyn
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/10/2019 10:07:00 AM
Thank you, Carolyn, for your uplifting comments and for your fave. Your gracious presence and esteemed and positive feedback fills me with inspiration and delight. It pleases me immensely to know that you enjoyed my poem.. My warmest wishes to you always.. ~Susan
Date: 2/4/2019 10:37:00 AM
Burning tears..that shame and blame.. aching regrets.. that "flare with pain".. a self that turns to "ash" and "grey".. a self unable to "forgive their own".. the "burn of sins" unable to "withstand".. The last line frees the self from their pains and stains! Too much pain and suffering conveyed by a powerful imagery! Dear Susan, your poem is achingly captivating! So much elevation and beauty in what you have penned from the heart! A pearl into my fave list. nice to see you dearest Susan, hugs.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/8/2019 6:54:00 PM
My poetry sister, it is with my deepest appreciation that I receive your heartfelt and heartwarming comments, as well as your fave. Please accept my apologies, dearest Besma, for my delay in honoring your beautiful sentiments with my reply. Life’s circumstances have kept me from being active here over the last few weeks. Thank you for your inspiring presence and precious friendship, and for feeling the spirit of my verse. My warmest wishes, love and hugs to you always, my lovely friend.. ~Susan
Date: 2/3/2019 11:06:00 AM
This poem would have been ideal for my last tear contest... It is very deep witha bit of darkness.. as always great use of language and the last two lines just kill it all off.... the person in your poem must really be suffering..
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 2/7/2019 1:44:00 PM
Silent One, your presence is so uplifting. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me.. I was hoping to write another slightly different poem for you contest, but I just didn't have enough free time to accomplish that.. free time is in very short supply these days, unfortunately. Warmest wishes always, my inspiring friend.. ~Susan

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry