Onboarding and Job Orientation for new ghosts seems quite lacking.
Whither shall I go— Shall I haunt the willow Drag my nails 'cross thy dewy window Push the wicker chair to and fro? These are all terrors that I know What do the newly dead do When there is nowhere We would venture to Or care feel despair Or shed boo-hoos Should I wait in the broom Closet for you Radiating gloom Waiting to shout "boo!" What do the newly dead do? They said it would be fun To watch the frightened run, But so far that just isn't true And maybe a little mean From the little I've seen— But hey, I'm new; Maybe just one of the few Who wishes there was something better To do Than scare another bed-wetter Or ruin a new hairdo— It's just all so boring We sit 'round till morning Then some awful cock crows Ringing thro' fields and clear 'cross meadows And everything just turns black— And it's cold And there's a smell— Like putrid mold. Well, I guess it's better than hell, But who the hell knows
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