The Nature of Pain

I forget at times how much this hurts. Like a butterfly whose wings have been torn apart I sit here quivering inside closing my eyes as I let waves of pain wash over me knowing that I cannot ever overcome completely. The nature of pain is not to destroy but to make the pained wish for destruction as the ocean yearns for the shore. I forget at times how much this hurts. Like a vein to my heart that has been cut I am bleeding out precious crimson liquid seeping through my body filling me with a languor so close to pleasure that it is unbearable but unmistakable for pain and that overwhelms my senses asking more of my empty shell to fill then I have. The nature of pain is to lie quietly by waiting for the right moment to show its ugly face to rear its head that reminds me so of fear that holds you in its clutches thirsting for you to beg to be let go. I forget at times how much this hurts. Like lenses placed by fingertip on lucky eyes each morning this pain focuses sharp and clear on a pinpoint somewhere between my gut and my heart and I blink fitting these contacts around the iris so that all the pain pouring from my eyes is stopped held in pushed back inside so that no one sees except me through this clarity newfound unwelcome. The nature of pain is to fall quietly and hit with a sound that resounds through the caverns of your mind like the screech of a trapped bird of prey. I forget at times how much this hurts. Like a lonely fish venturing down to the bottom of the sea I did not see the creature fearsome toothed wide jaw glowing green light hanging to light its gruesome mask that was hiding behind that rock lying in wait for me to swim around the corner so it could use the element of surprise to take me down quickly. The nature of pain is to systematically break down the only part of you that ever matters into tiny pieces not available for recovery which even if you could do not fit together anymore so much have they been mangled by the force of that pain until there is nothing left but an intense desire not to live. I forget at times how much this hurts. And as I remember I forget myself and I am lost swirling as this pain washes over me overwhelms me surprises me and won’t let go.