The Mystery of Humpty Dumpty

Too many questions, way too few answers Why would an egg wear blue pants, sir? And Wherefore his fall? Perchance he was struck with a lance, sir Or could it be he keeled over from cancer? But these answers are foolish, silly as can be Let us seek precision, yea clarity -- just you and me First let us consider Humpty's engimatic egghood Whence he came, his origins, his neighborhood. Humpty hailed, sure, from the finest of breeding's nests His pedigree indubitably the crest of the West Why else would "King's Men" strive to aid him so? Inconceivable then, that he be hatched not from Royal Dough And yet, and yet -- that last name strikes hard at this theory The name "Dumpty" denoting 'dumpy,' connoting 'weary' The overall effect on eyes perspicacious, quite bleary A name bestowing tidings negative -- never cheery So where does that leave us, O intrepid fellow-seeker? Let us push past the thorns and the thistles, those sticklers That wreak havoc on curiosity so fragile as it peeks Back into the matter of Humpty's breeches, heretofore piqued Observing their color oft rendered blue Though on occasion brown or purple, and even striped too --Why, friend, I think I've got it, by Jove! The answer to Humpty's mystery, for which we mightily strove Brown is an outlier, not worthy of consideration Purple represents Royalty, the Crown's Coronation But Blue, validly, veritably, and verifiably, is a color so True The King's Man who wears it can fend off every attempt at a coup! July 01, 2018