The Morning After Monika :

The morning after Is there any reality to ?, or is it just another Dream ? Four AM, and again, I am awoken by a dream, That dream tells a story, is that story a truth ?, - a truth that came to light Valentines night – as I came to visit you – your girlfriend is there – our exchange of words are brief – you want to leave – you walk out your door – your friend and I remain behind – your decision – your friend begins to tell me you are involved, in fact have been for a long time, - I am nothing more than a filler for your empty hours – then I awake with a pain in my heart and a knowledge of. What ?, a premonition ! Monika : Four AM, pen in hand, words begin to flow. They speak of a beautiful Lady, I would love to know ! My heart ache, bleeds, - it is my desire for her – it doth show, in a million tear drops that run wild through my veins until the knowledge of, is absorbed and all that remains are the memories, the moments ( good or sad ) of the pains I have had to endure – your words “ be patent ”, “ be this ”, “ do that ” – the implications ? – the dream is realized. In all honesty Monika, - I thank – never from you will I come to know your compassion, your passion, a closeness, nor affection, love and desire – the things I desire to give, to receive – or anything I wish to experience, to know. I feel that I mean nothing more to you than the gift - of Christmas Love ( those black and red lover entwined ). A block of wood carved into – intimate – lovers twisted around each other’s souls in a passionate kiss, a sculpture that you saw as a musical symbol (Treble clef ) An item left on a shelf. looked at but never toughed. As always – I am conflicted – living with uncertainties, living in doubt of where I stand and what I mean to you. Wm. J. Atfield Jr. Love Bill . B. J. “A ” 2 February 15th 2007