The Man i had to become

I used to walk with a crowd. Loud laughs. Cheap talk. Moments that felt full— until the silence came and I realized I didn’t know myself at all. I wore masks so well, even the mirror believed them. Told the right jokes. Held the line. Swallowed pain like pride and called it being a man. But one day, the noise got too loud. The smile cracked. And the man in the mirror said, "This ain’t you anymore." So I left. Not with anger. Just with honesty. And that’s when the losing started. Friends faded. Not all at once. Just fewer calls. Less understanding. Less space for the man I was becoming. Turns out, some people love the version of you that doesn’t make them uncomfortable. But I kept walking. Through doubt. Through loneliness. Through nights where I questioned whether becoming better was worth feeling this alone. But then… something shifted. I started recognizing my own voice. Started making peace with my past. Started lifting the weight I’d buried beneath silence and guilt. I lost some people— but I found someone else: Me. Not perfect. Not polished. But real. Accountable. And standing. The man I was had to break so the man I’m meant to be could rise.