The Man i had to become
I used to walk with a crowd.
Loud laughs. Cheap talk.
Moments that felt full—
until the silence came
and I realized I didn’t know myself at all.
I wore masks so well,
even the mirror believed them.
Told the right jokes.
Held the line.
Swallowed pain like pride
and called it being a man.
But one day,
the noise got too loud.
The smile cracked.
And the man in the mirror said,
"This ain’t you anymore."
So I left.
Not with anger.
Just with honesty.
And that’s when the losing started.
Friends faded.
Not all at once.
Just fewer calls.
Less understanding.
Less space for the man I was becoming.
Turns out,
some people love the version of you
that doesn’t make them uncomfortable.
But I kept walking.
Through doubt.
Through loneliness.
Through nights where I questioned
whether becoming better
was worth feeling this alone.
But then…
something shifted.
I started recognizing my own voice.
Started making peace with my past.
Started lifting the weight I’d buried beneath silence and guilt.
I lost some people—
but I found someone else:
Me.
Not perfect.
Not polished.
But real.
Accountable.
And standing.
The man I was
had to break
so the man I’m meant to be
could rise.
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