The Man i had to become

I used to walk with a crowd.
Loud laughs. Cheap talk.
Moments that felt full—
until the silence came
and I realized I didn’t know myself at all.

I wore masks so well,
even the mirror believed them.
Told the right jokes.
Held the line.
Swallowed pain like pride
and called it being a man.

But one day,
the noise got too loud.
The smile cracked.
And the man in the mirror said,
"This ain’t you anymore."

So I left.
Not with anger.
Just with honesty.

And that’s when the losing started.

Friends faded.
Not all at once.
Just fewer calls.
Less understanding.
Less space for the man I was becoming.

Turns out,
some people love the version of you
that doesn’t make them uncomfortable.

But I kept walking.
Through doubt.
Through loneliness.
Through nights where I questioned
whether becoming better
was worth feeling this alone.

But then…
something shifted.

I started recognizing my own voice.
Started making peace with my past.
Started lifting the weight I’d buried beneath silence and guilt.

I lost some people—
but I found someone else:

Me.

Not perfect.
Not polished.
But real.
Accountable.
And standing.

The man I was
had to break
so the man I’m meant to be
could rise.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

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Derden Avatar
June 21, 2025 at 11:53 AM
Honest and transformative, this poem is a powerful exploration of masculinity, self-awareness, and growth. With quiet strength and emotional clarity, it charts the painful but necessary journey of shedding false identities to reclaim authenticity. A moving testament to healing, integrity, and the courage it takes to walk alone in order to finally stand true. I can so relate.
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