The Loophole

in the dark without distraction the wretchedness of distorted & painful memories wash over our psyche like a flood of fluid napalm burning the layer skin off quicker than the ginsu on an onion & the places in which were said to never be heard of again come back stomping, beating, screaming, tearing, standing strong amidst the bloody howl of distress & all desperate action in the attempt to make such horrors dissipate. a loophole exists, however, & here is where it gets tricky, only if one allows it to become so---as it is known of course to the terrorized that the mind, which at present has allowed for the abhorrent to take over, committing atrocities within the waking & sleeping states, must continue to win against the will of what is left inside if it is to abolish the being in question. in conjunction with the heart (both physical & metaphorical), the mind now dominates, sending shockwaves back at itself, constantly bringing forth new pain all over the body, while the will to fight can grow weaker even still. to find the loophole one must become angry---it is the only way, for anger is pure & unadulterated when used to survive amidst one’s own methods of self- destruction---be it in the waking or the sleeping state, one needs to harness all that is left, all that can still be recognized as “mine” & not the brainwashed sorrow & suicidal pattern of the ever so determined memory bank which throbs like a pulsing vein ready to explode. when one’s will gets the mind’s memory by the throat, it focuses every iota of its ceasing strength, it becomes known that the being in total is stronger than one part & the need to annihilate the memories which lit this sudden fuse becomes quite evident. facing the greatest fear oneself could produce in order to eliminate the body by the eradication of the mind, our will succeeds in strangling the memories---it does not let them win over the rest of us & only in this are we free to exist in the present again.