The last voicemail I sent
Hey God…
It’s late.
I don’t really know how to start this.
Not a prayer,
not exactly.
Just a voicemail…
in case I don’t get to say anything else.
I’ve kept it quiet.
No one knows
that I won’t be here long.
Not my mom,
not my best friend,
not him.
They still talk about summer
like I’ll be there.
Like I’ll be fine.
And I smile.
Because it’s easier.
I’m not angry.
I’m just…
a little tired.
A little scared.
I thought I’d have more time to
fall in love deeper,
laugh harder,
wake up and not feel like glass.
here we are.
If You’re listening,
can I ask a few things?
Please,
help them heal soft.
Let their grief be slow and kind.
Let them remember me
in sunlight,
not in hospital lighting.
Let him still write songs
and believe in forever.
Let my mom keep talking to me
like I’m still around.
And please,
please don’t let her blame herself.
I’ve tried to be brave.
Even when everything hurt.
Even when I prayed and You felt far.
But if this message reaches You,
just know,
I still believe.
Not because I’m dying,
but because You were the only one
who stayed quiet with me
when I couldn’t speak.
This isn’t goodbye.
Just…
see You soon.
Okay?
Beep.
Copyright © Amanda Nolan | Year Posted 2025
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