The Knight's Tale of the Night's Tail

Sir Homophone came to meet the maid that somehow stayed so slim.
Her feat was to stay chaste to him and yet by his feet be chased by him.
She had recently lost some weight by refusing to partake in evening sup.
It seemed the more that she pared down the more likely to be paired up.
All night the weak maid prayed so meekly for the Knight that she sees.
But the Knight preyed to be made thrice weekly and she at night to seize.
She hoped he would meet and see her and then choose to wed,
But it was the supper meat that saw the sear that he chews instead.
She sewed her dress then pared the wood and the holy altar made, 
He sowed distress when he prepared his wood to wholly alter the maid.
“Maid please tend to me now you’ve said you weekly have sordid sex.”
“Knight please you misunderstand I said I weakly have sorted sox.”
She begged, “Please be discreet with what it is that we’ve discussed.”
He shrugged, “You are awfully discrete in what it is that you disgust.”
But love conspired to steal, his heart soared and they were off to wed,
Then lust transpired to steel his hard sword and they were off to bed.
He was happy because of her sighs and she was happy because of his. 
This concludes my good Knight tale and all of this good night tail biz.

You read it didn’t you? Shame on you, I had to read it because I wrote it 
but you had a choice. Benny Hill would be so proud.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Holmes Avatar
March 25, 2015 at 9:41 AM
Thanks Tony..this will inspire me for the contest....Peter
Poetess Avatar
August 25, 2011 at 7:48 AM
Top of the morning to you Tony. Great write thanks for sharing. Now I know what Knights are thinking when the chase is on. Lol. Glenna
Lane Avatar
August 25, 2011 at 7:49 AM
Thank you Glenna.
Culverhouse Avatar
August 24, 2011 at 12:00 PM
I saw yo comment below and my one son is proud if he can gross me out or make me choke on supper. Must be a childs game!
Lane Avatar
August 24, 2011 at 12:57 PM
Being the oldest of four boys I can tell you, it was great fun to gross out mom.
Culverhouse Avatar
August 24, 2011 at 11:57 AM
you made me read it.....shame on you. Good morning!! cheers and a cup of brew!!
Wesley Avatar
August 24, 2011 at 9:54 AM
Yes, I choked on my coffee and have tears in my eyes. Just a hilarious tale , don't know how you got alol the complicated twists in so cleverly. Has to go in my favs dear poet. Amazin!
Lane Avatar
August 24, 2011 at 10:01 AM
I'm very glad that you laughed at it. I was a little worried about posting it. Tony
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace