Earl Schumacker Poet Didactic

The Kitty Cat To Do List

Kill the yellow bird (the one in the cage)
Change its name from Tweety to Dinner
Eat the evidence down to the last feather
Stay clear from the other family pet 
Make the psychotic pit bulls bed your toilet
Murder him and the owners in their sleep
Use sleeping pills and bazookas
Grow fingers if you must
Get the job done tonight
Pull the trigger twice (because twice is nice)
Bury them out back with the other trash
Scratch your back, (claws optional) 
Sit back and relax
Smoke another cigarette
Use the newly grown fingers to that end
Go about your business like nothing happened
Use the dead people's credit cards for shopping
Confess your sins to a priest 
*(Pope Francis says pets can go to heaven)
Send him a letter in the mail from jail
Beg for forgiveness or simply meow
*(The man said nothing about hell)

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Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart June 10, 2019 at 9:09 AM Heh heh heh. Yeah, I'm a dog person ;) xomo Earl Schumacker June 10, 2019 at 10:17 AM Hi Maureen, Glad you enjoyed it. I realize it is a little over the top and off the ledge but that is what ledges are for. We have a cat. I am severely allergic to cats. Go figure. I love dogs. We can not have dogs in our condo community. I saved a salamander, a large lizard and a bird from the killer claws and teeth of our kitty cat this past week. We would be better off with a goldfish. They are less malicious and they don't make me sneeze. Earl