The Kitty Cat To Do List

Kill the yellow bird (the one in the cage) Change its name from Tweety to Dinner Eat the evidence down to the last feather Stay clear from the other family pet Make the psychotic pit bulls bed your toilet Murder him and the owners in their sleep Use sleeping pills and bazookas Grow fingers if you must Get the job done tonight Pull the trigger twice (because twice is nice) Bury them out back with the other trash Scratch your back, (claws optional) Sit back and relax Smoke another cigarette Use the newly grown fingers to that end Go about your business like nothing happened Use the dead people's credit cards for shopping Confess your sins to a priest *(Pope Francis says pets can go to heaven) Send him a letter in the mail from jail Beg for forgiveness or simply meow *(The man said nothing about hell)