The Junkman
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“Daddy, Daddy, Here comes the junkman!”
Do not confuse me for garbage
Don’t blame the messenger either!
Don’t blame the Man!
We all follow a plan
It’s what we get paid to do
You’d do it too if you had to
They’ll fire me if I don’t
So I do, because it’s what keeps us (USPS) afloat
So, don’t rock the boat!
It’s just pennies on the dollar
Those asinine ads
Sure you don't bother to read 'em
They work just fine as fire starters too, you see
Maybe you’ll find some bargain in the flames
You just can’t live without
I deliver that too, and no,
I won’t treat it like poo
Like the other guy, you know who
I’ll gently set it on your porch
You may toss it in the fire
When your done
If that’s your desire
Do so, please
So yes,
I work for the Man
Driving around daily
In an electric or gas guzzling
Trash can
Proudly for the Red, White, and Blue
That’s you and you and you too
And if your house is real rural
I probably really deliver to you
So, stop your cryin’ and whinin’
Just call me a snail
But I try hard I confess
I try hard not to fail
I plow thru snow blizzards and hail
And back for you and such
Just to get this junkmail to you
In a timely fashion
Before it gets dark
No matter what!
So please remember,
Always tip your junkman, especially during Christmas!
He or she just may be one of Santa’s elves.
(But of course, if you forgot, anytime is fine. Believe me,
His head’s just full of junk, speaking from experience,
I won't mind)
Copyright © Benjamin Bartley | Year Posted 2025
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