The Junkman

“Daddy, Daddy, Here comes the junkman!” Do not confuse me for garbage Don’t blame the messenger either! Don’t blame the Man! We all follow a plan It’s what we get paid to do You’d do it too if you had to They’ll fire me if I don’t So I do, because it’s what keeps us (USPS) afloat So, don’t rock the boat! It’s just pennies on the dollar Those asinine ads Sure you don't bother to read 'em They work just fine as fire starters too, you see Maybe you’ll find some bargain in the flames You just can’t live without I deliver that too, and no, I won’t treat it like poo Like the other guy, you know who I’ll gently set it on your porch You may toss it in the fire When your done If that’s your desire Do so, please So yes, I work for the Man Driving around daily In an electric or gas guzzling Trash can Proudly for the Red, White, and Blue That’s you and you and you too And if your house is real rural I probably really deliver to you So, stop your cryin’ and whinin’ Just call me a snail But I try hard I confess I try hard not to fail I plow thru snow blizzards and hail And back for you and such Just to get this junkmail to you In a timely fashion Before it gets dark No matter what! So please remember, Always tip your junkman, especially during Christmas! He or she just may be one of Santa’s elves. (But of course, if you forgot, anytime is fine. Believe me, His head’s just full of junk, speaking from experience, I won't mind)