The Joke, I Am

Life Can be a comedy Or a tragedy Whatever way you see it Feeling sick Is it gonna be an annual event Every autumn? Seems like everything has been Only tricks And no treats Tied up knots Knots and knots Inside me Nots are in my favor Can't get rid of it Emotions Thoughts Worries Broken hearts Scattered around me And I can only Just look at the entire mess Laughing Blankly Sit there In the middle of it all I can make people laugh Because I'm the joke I give people the greatest advice Which I don't feed myself Is it me Or is it getting crazier out there? Don't want to get out the door I'm not ready Put on your dancing shoes Put on your happy face I say To me In the mirror I'm dancing In fire and ice In pain I laugh In happiness I cry And I didn't understand When they said that Now I do Swimming in nothingness Water is clear My mind is not Where do I escape These endless Cold marble halls The door keeps getting Out of reach Darkness trying to pull me into An abyss Why do I feel this way Born to overfeel It's a suffering to Feel so much I love deeply I despair deeply The highs and lows There's never A moment of calm I sigh I take out the Red liquid lipstick And pull on a smile And off The window I prance With grace