The I's Have It
There are so many me’s inside my head,
there is no room for flight or fancy.
The souls swirl around leaving imagination an outcast.
I shed myself every day,
minute by moment a new me is born.
I’ve let go of many of my selves over the years.
Some are just an old polaroid picture of a Thanksgiving long ago
a snapshot that sums up all the Thanksgivings I ever had.
It’s the closer and more embedded selves that give me pause.
They still seem so fresh and so much a part of me.
The career I left behind, the joy I felt this morning,
I want to hang on just a little bit longer.
The have-been’s, are’s and will be’s
Create a cluttered chaos in my head
till I can barely breath.
When I lay on the bathroom floor,
reaching up for a hand that wasn’t there.
The moment when I died and then returned.
I am suffocated by my own souls
endless passing through my sight impeding my view.
As long as I keep fighting
To hold on to yesterday’s self,
I will live in a whirlwind of me’s.
It is only if I accept the flow,
moment to moment, life and death of self
That I can break free as I am.
Copyright © Alison Hodges | Year Posted 2020
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