The Idea of You Reprise

I have grown tired of the worship of You- can you lose faith in a god that you created? I used to pray and beg and grovel for just a sliver of Your grace, but my knees are bloodied and bruised, and my words now fail me. I have grown weary of the existence of You- I don’t look for you in every room anymore, don’t feel your presence But sometimes I jump when I see the familiar silhouette in Your shape, and every time, I’m relieved when it’s not you. I have grown bored of the image of You- I used to frame portraits and photos of you on the walls Like you were a priceless work of art, but now Your pictures collect dust in the corner of an abandoned home. I am no longer in love with the idea of You- I am an artist without a muse, a dog without an owner, A widow grieving a spouse who never died. I never lost you because You were never mine in the first place.