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The Hunter's Children Cry

He walked amid the woodlands muted morn. The scents of earth were wafting on the breeze. For dawn had moistened yet another day. And silence dripped beneath the autumn trees. A rustle in dry leaves, he caught a glimpse. His gun caressed the warmth of flannel sleeves. The silent hunter, stalking, tiptoed near. A golden-red meandered through the leaves. The sun began to rise above the knoll. It shone upon dark eyes; the gun rose high. The pheasant flickered leaves; then, heard a crunch. He recognized the scent; the man walked nigh. Red feathers, brightly accented with gold, Were ruffled as he took his fighting pose. The cockerel next to man had no defense. So, high above the trees the pheasant rose! His hungry children waited back at home. He rushed along the trail up to the crest. The pheasant lost from view; his stomach growled. The hunter and his gun had done their best. At noon, the hunter rested on a log. The water in his canteen, nearly dry, No morsel did he eat as day grew long. The stealthy man could hear his children’s cry. December 1, 2014 Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: Structured forms - Iambic verse - Sketch a fictitious character - (Top Gun Poetry) - Poetry Contest Sponsor Giorgio A. V.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




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Date: 1/13/2015 11:52:00 AM
Great job Dane..Merry Christmas,,,Happy New Year,,, and all the others I've missed... and many more to come,,,God bless,,,, and may many more enjoyable times be in your future... Agape Moses!
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Date: 12/27/2014 6:32:00 AM
Great work, you've told this story in a most imaginative, catching way. Deserved it's win.
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Date: 12/26/2014 9:19:00 PM
Dane, CONGRATS on your win, in Giorgio A. V's contest... Take Care ~LINDA
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Date: 12/18/2014 10:15:00 AM
You brought the hunter to life in this great poem !! Congratulatons , and happy holiday to you, Dane Ann!
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Date: 12/17/2014 4:48:00 PM
You told a wonderful story Dane Ann - congrats:-) Hugs Jan x
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Date: 12/17/2014 4:47:00 AM
Nicely told story, congratulations on the win
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Date: 12/16/2014 9:15:00 PM
Ok Dane Ann, this time I tried to look at it with your perspective and I shed no tears. I am happy to share the podium with you and this top poem. I am going to save it as a favourite and a seven. Congratulations!
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Date: 12/16/2014 3:02:00 PM
A great win for your equally great poem. Congratulations.
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Date: 12/16/2014 2:28:00 PM
Very good story telling, congratulations.
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Date: 12/1/2014 4:16:00 PM
I wish the ending wasn't so sad because otherwise this was such a pleasure to read. The rhythm was perfect and your descriptions amazing. I just can't handle those children crying.
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Smith-Johnsen Avatar
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Date: 12/1/2014 11:37:00 PM
I hadn't thought about it being sad...maybe because of food stamps and we don't see a lot of hunger all around. I was thinking about the pheasant getting away from the big bad hunter! Smiles. But, I remembered a family in Wyoming that I met years ago on vacation who had a dad that hunted deer even if it was out of season. I felt bad for the deer, but his children never went hungry. Remember, it is a fiction contest. So, no need to be sad.

Book: Shattered Sighs