The Heart and the Beat
Washing my face at night - I drown in sorrow.
Patting a towel on my skin. Pressing firm.
Laughing causes wrinkles. Everyone knows that.
Yet humor is one of the best defense mechanisms.
My heart skips around like a 90's Walkman.
Suddenly I don't feel so alone.
The music takes over my limbs.
I wave my lanky limbs around like a kite.
I ask myself whether or not I should smile.
My eyes roll out of habit.
What am I supposed to do now?
Taste the coffee that you delicately poured.
I prefer tea but I needed some energy.
As I throw my cup in the recycling bin..
I count the ants - lined up and ready to march forward.
I know my limitations. I know my end is near.
I hold my hands under the faucet.
I wait for the water to boil.
I am making a cup of tea.
I am trying to relax.
I am trying to be something bigger and better.
Each day is beautiful. Each night is divine.
Is there something wrong with this picture?
I only film in the grey areas. No more joking around.
I thought about the last thing you said before you died.
That you wanted God to love you.
I think He does. I sure knew I did.
The spoonful of honey and cream.
Make the tea less bitter.
But it is still a challenge to swallow.
Like the lump I got in my throat while reading your obituary.
You were the one who I saw a future with.
I don't know how much I can pretend that I'm not hurt.
Grab life by the collar and dance in the reflection of the moon.
She whispers lines from your favourite poem.
Once I get comfortable, I begin to weep.
I can't remember what brings me peace.
A small cursive chant that makes me ache.
A part of me that hasn't been afraid.
Washing my face in the sink.
Tomorrow is another day.
I love you now, then, and always.
I sold a story to afford to eat.
Now I just need to learn to digest.
My heart skips around like a 90's Walkman.
It will never cease to amaze me how much you knew.
About Faith and Charity.
I softly sing the words to your favourite hymn.
Hope you'll hear them.
I think laughter is one of the best ways to heal.
Even if it does cause wrinkles..
Copyright © Shane Houston | Year Posted 2021
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