The Ham Was Off

After: "Letter of Mithridates to Phraates, King of Parthia" Historiae VI by Sallust ***************************** I am a man more poisoned against than poisoning. That’s my version anyhow, and I’m sticking to it. Don’t blame me for having survived a few meals Which others, less fortunate, could not. All that doesn’t help me now with Pompey at my throat. Pompey, plunderer and bully, who has enough wit Only to command a Materialschlacht, But that is child’s play with Rome’s support. Rome! Scourge of cities, tribes, peoples, nations, all mankind, Were not the Pillars of Hercules, the western shores Sufficient for your ravenous appetite That your eagle eyes scan my realm? O Phraates, King of Parthia still unvanquished, Had you but lent your ear to me when together we Might have rid the East of this ill-begotten son Of Mars. Small the credit, so great the loss! For Rome, unchallenged, bestrides the Great Sea. Eastwards He surveys my mountains and your rivers, groves and plains, No doubt beyond. Remember Alexander, Who sacked glorious Persepolis. You vainly sue for peace, like credulous Philipp once When fondly strung along with Rome’s promises of “pax”. And what of Carthage? Where now her wealth of gold And purple? Barren her poisoned lands! Mind you, I’m not well-placed on a high moral pedestal When it comes to poisoning, but limits I respect. A few enemies now and then, I admit, Died at my table. The ham was off! But the earth is sacrosanct. I never salted fields, For Rome’s venom is stronger than aught I ever brewed. Where shall this end? Shall Rome vanquish all nations? Shall all cower to his bloody sword? But Rome! With surfeiting the eaten, not the eater, Prevails. The whole world is, even for iron digestions, Strong meat. It is the sun, not Romulus, whom East and West obey. Helios rules. With Rome to east and Rome to west, then two Romes are there, And I do fear for man and earth. The approach of death Lends men insight. I fought, I won, I lost in war. My spirit is still king. Sirs, your health. The last round! Like Carthage we lose to Rome the third round. Once more is the Gordian knot in twain. Quirites, The gods look down. Remember Alexander, Who died of fever in Babylon!