The Great Turtle and Sky Woman

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Debbie Guzzi.


created by Laura Lamarca, and consists of at least 3, 4 line stanzas.

The rhyme scheme for each stanza is the same as Long Measure,

 

a. b. (c1. c2.) b.

Instead of being Iambic Tetrameter it has a syllable count of

9. 7. (9.) 9.

Line 3 is a Repeating Line, which contains an internal rhyme and is repeated in each alternate stanza as in the first stanza. Each even stanza line contains the same line but with the two parts of the internal rhyme swapped. There is no maximum poem length.
 

A round I'll write on a turtles shell
in hyperbole you'll be borne
on each carapace a story's traced
of when the world was first born.

How Sky Woman fell from blackest night
through a hole Great Spirit made
she glowed with light and greatly excited
the sea creatures were afraid.

They dove to the bottom of the sea
and waited to see her drift down;
a story's traced on each carapace
of how Sky Woman found ground.

The beaver, the loon and the muskrat
dove beneath the endless sea;
and greatly excited she glowed with light
as they brought the earth to be.

From the bottom of the sea muskrat's
brave form rose, earth in his claw;
on each carapace a story's traced
of the land the Great Turtle bore.

An island formed on the turtles back
a place for Sky Woman, land!
She glowed with light and greatly excited
as swans brought her down to stand.

Two children were born to Sky Women
one bad and one good, her sons;
a story's traced on each carapace
of her death by the bad one.

The Good Son took his mothers body
from her limbs stars and moon spun;
and greatly excited she glowed with light
as from her head, he made sun.

To this day the Good Spirit guides
the souls of good men at death;
on each carapace a story's traced
of good and bad, her behest.



An attempt at ZaniLa Rhyme don't copy it isn't correct ;). Phew hard!

See About the poem

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 7/29/2014 1:08:00 PM
Debbie, Congratulations, on your awesome win.... Love Linda
Login to Reply
Date: 7/29/2014 12:53:00 PM
Belongs in a storybook...and yes, it DOES look hard!
Login to Reply
Date: 7/27/2014 12:08:00 PM
Awesome the way you wove the legends and history into the turtle's life. You really have a remarkable knowledge of turtles. Congrats on your win, dear! Love, Carolyn
Login to Reply
Date: 7/27/2014 7:52:00 AM
Wonderful Debbie! Hats off to you,, ur writes r unique, elegant n matchless ! Words r less to appreciate,, Congrats on win!
Login to Reply
Date: 7/27/2014 1:34:00 AM
wow!! a poem of legendary tales and great format to write - a lesson to us all. a bow to you Debbie. Mohan
Login to Reply
Date: 7/26/2014 10:24:00 PM
Very clever and intellectual attempt at the few form, Debbie. congrats
Login to Reply
Date: 7/17/2014 1:57:00 PM
This seems like it was heavily influenced by Native American legends. Quite an interesting piece of literature here! If you have a book you can send it to me and I can donate it to Poets House a 60,000 volume library of poetry where I currently volunteer. Peace &Love Matthew Anish
Login to Reply
Guzzi Avatar
Debbie Guzzi
Date: 7/17/2014 3:29:00 PM
yes of course it is Matt that's what Dee asked for ;)
Date: 7/16/2014 5:23:00 PM
hmmm, it seems a bit like a pantoum to me. I noticed at least a few lines repeated a lot. I don't know this form either but it sure likes right to ME.
Login to Reply
Date: 7/16/2014 5:29:00 AM
WOW! WOW! WOW! Deb, this is magical and mesmerizing! I just loved it!
Login to Reply
Date: 7/15/2014 5:29:00 PM
sooooooo good! argh argh!!!! I've now changed the name of the contest to make it super clear what I'm looking for and put free verse in the contest details in like a size 30 font... you were not alone... another wonderful poem also was rhyme. If you enter it, I will highlight it in a blog and guarantee a HM... PS- THIS WOULD BE LOVELY ILLUSTRATED. Like a grown up fairy tale... I can see it.. it would look like stained glass... almost illuminated. xoxo and :( and <3 and !!!!! WOW!!!! all together
Login to Reply
Guzzi Avatar
Debbie Guzzi
Date: 7/15/2014 7:38:00 PM
It's OK honey bun maybe I'll get the strength to try AGAIN!
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter