Home » Poems » Bj Legros Kelley » The Great Divide

The Great Divide

                        


                      Of tears through the years, we had traveled long

                          Remembering snatches of childhood song

                                Memories spoken of so long ago

                       Dear Johnny, the brother that I used to know

                         When you were but five, and I nearly three 
                  
                          Our family was torn to a pieced memory

                    
                           Always my brother (though cousin to me)

                     
                     Your photograph tucked in mom's Bible there be

                        Mama found me crying and holding her Book

                           Hugging that photo, your cherubic look

                          But mother was angry, and took it away

                     For you were no more part of our dear everyday

         
                        Johnny, so long had I prayed and I dreamed

                             We'd be reunited, and that day came

                                                  ....

                                             it seemed

                  When you and your sweet Angel Dear of your life

                       Your beautiful darling, your amazing wife

                      Made contact again after so many years

                  And the JOYOUS reunion of laughter and tears!

         
             But your precious heart was still riddled with pain

            You left us. Your life's song? Now sorrows refrain.

                 Sometimes, John, this pain I can hardly abide

              You chose to depart, crossed the longest divide

          Did you really think that your pain would be through?

              We inherited it John, we still grieve for you!

        
          Oh, Father! Please, mercy! Our pain we can't hide

                 Comfort us Father, from sorrows abide

            Father, please, mercy, to those dwelling here

               Hope beyond all hope, You'll dry every tear

             

                   Johnny, I love you, dear brother to me

                    May Abba deliver from despondency

                 Blessed mercy and hope, for eternal light

                  Shining in healing and conquering night

     
              Eleven long years since the day that you died

            Crossed over by choice, that long dark divide

               Did you not know you would rip every heart?

           The choice that you chose ripped us further apart.

   
            Comfort, oh Father, I drift back somewhere kind

           To our childhood moments, we so long left behind

          But they bring no comfort, for heart breaking pain

                  Never to shine out in pure joy again
                  
            So, please, in Your mercy, let hope spring anew
             
              For all hope was shattered, except Lord, in You

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Sara Kendrick

Date: 5/23/2025 1:19:00 AM

I can tell in this one that you cared deeply for your kin. There have been several suicides in my two families both my biological family and my adoptive family. The people left behind continue to suffer. Sometimes I think they are saying you are paying for how you hurt me. but I really don't think they are thinking things through in their distraught mind. Sara K

Bj Legros Kelley
Date: 5/23/2025 8:45:00 AM

Yes, my cousin was my closest 'sibling' in age when we were little, and I loved him so much. He and his dad lived with us when we were very young and maintained a closeness after we moved west, but then we moved to N CA, he and his dad and new step mom lived in S CA, so we couldn't see each other as often. In our teens we last saw each other, then he pulled away and we didn't see each other for decades. When we did, we were so happy. My husband was even considering a job transfer and a move for us to be closer. Suicide leaves horrible heartache and conflicting emotions. I pray that others get help, don't hurt themselves and others so terribly. Thank you for your visit and comment Sara, I'm so sorry for your losses, it is so very heartbreaking. Hugs to you from afar <3

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 5/22/2025 5:48:00 AM

Oh tears! Brought back the memory of one young man (a dad and father) This young family came to our house for my grandson’s first birthday. His daughter was young too. The man was in a band with my son-in-law. He got involved with drugs, lost his family and then his life. My S-I-L prayed over him as he died. Tears…

Bj Legros Kelley
Date: 5/23/2025 8:36:00 AM

Oh Kim, that is so sad. Drugs are so horrible, they give the hurting hearts a false hope and then destroy lives. I am glad that your son-in-law was there to pray for him. My cousin lived a half an hour or so from the time he made that dreadful choice, I pray that somehow the Lord ministered to him in that time. My cousin's son was older, not a child, but still affected terribly, and his darling wife was so in love with him, she cared for him incredibly, she was a bubbly darling, but heart broken, crushed when he did what he did. Suicide is so horrible!

Valsa George

Date: 5/22/2025 4:28:00 AM

Such a heart wrenching poem! I can imagine the pain of losing a cousin who was almost like a brother to you. I too have lost one of my first cousins at the age of 21. He was just like a brother to me. We grew up together. His father was an officer in the Indian Air Force. Though they were in different states outside Kerala on transfer, they would reach our home on a two month's vacation every year. Oh, what fun we had ! When he got qualified in a highly competitive All India examination, he was going to his friend's house to share with him the glad news. On the way, he died in a scooter accident. It is more than 50 years now. He was senior to me by just one year. I still miss him and the family grieves for him. A heart touching poem dear B.J

Bj Legros Kelley
Date: 5/23/2025 8:30:00 AM

Oh sweet friend, I am so sorry that you lost your dear cousin, that is incredibly tragic. I have a 21-year-old son who was hoping for a motorcycle, but I still remember when my husband and 18 years old came very close to be killed on his motorcycle, and I am just not comfortable getting him one, this makes me even more resolute, hearing about your cousin at 21 years old and the terrible accident, I'm so sorry for your loss. Close knit families are very much connected in heart, it is terrible sadness when we are divided, and when death further widens the divide, it is horrendously sad. Hugs to you Valsa <3

Gershon Wolf

Date: 5/15/2025 8:13:00 PM

Your poems are heartfelt displays of sincere raw emotions, which certainly pierce my heart of stone, Bj. Thank you, Gershon

Bj Legros Kelley
Date: 5/23/2025 8:23:00 AM

Thank you Gershon for your visit and comment and friendship. I wish the raw emotions would fade, and I do get past them and we enjoy our lives and time marches on, until an event brings back the rawness of the wound that seems not to heal. I hope others choose life and not the horrendous exit from life he chose leaving deep sorrow, and a wide array of conflicting emotions.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 5/14/2025 3:51:00 PM

This is so tragic. Is it true about your Johnny? We had one of my nephews do the same a few years ago. Only 30 and nobody even realized he was depressed. Great emotive poetry

Bj Legros Kelley
Date: 5/14/2025 5:38:00 PM

Yes, it is true. He was struggling and his wife stayed beside him, loving him, and made him get help, and he seemed to be doing better again, but, well, he stopped taking his meds and doing what he needed to do, and spiraled deeper. I'm so very sorry about your nephew, how horribly tragic. It was happening a lot a few years ago during covid and seemed to become almost a pandemic in itself, so tragic! I hope to somehow bring awareness to those battling depression, just to hang on, get help, they are precious souls. Those left behind deal with such horror and sadness. Hugs to you sweet Andrea, and your nephews family as well. We need to remember to pray for each other, especially those closest to the departed. <3

Anon Y'Mous

Date: 5/8/2025 4:46:00 PM

BJ though we don't have the answers, suffice it to say, God does. You put your hope in Him, now I pray you can surrender your pain to Him. He has the answers. I know you are having a hard time. You just got to trust God. You were a good cousin. You were light in darkness to John you prayed for him. I pray for peace to your heart and all affected.

Bj Legros Kelley
Date: 5/9/2025 10:53:00 PM

Thank you Anon, I appreciate your comment on here to me, and I will pray that I can surrender the pain to God, and you are so precious to pray for all affected. His wife and son especially. God has all the answers. No matter what, God is Good, and His Righteousness prevails. Thank you.