Gregory Richard Barden | + Follow Poet |
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the good fight

* death is a process of many stages, and dementia can be one of the ugliest … Dad taught me many lessons in life, and he fought to the last to retain what sensibilities he could. I miss you, RT. *

               ~

oh Dad, how I wished you realized how much
    I longed throughout life to garner your touch
      a spare arm to steady me some, here-or-there
  or perhaps a rough tousle to mess up my hair

a shoulder-ride wouldn't’ve been such a stretch
    an hour for fishing, or a quick game of catch
      maybe taken by hand for a walk on the beach
  a soft pat on the back, with a lesson to teach

a high-five to follow some baskets with you
    or even a, (gawd forbid), warm hug-or-two
      perchance, a kind touch to blot a stray tear
  how I longed for just SOMEthing, year-after-year

and, now that you've lost your volition to live
    my resentment is waning for what you can't give
      thus I’ve made that decision to push it away
  and I go to your bedside again, to just pray ...

your dementia can't realize it's me who’s nearby
    so I settle my head on your chest ... and I cry
      my tears wet your t-shirt but you’ll never know
  while I weep and I whisper, "I can't let you go"

I know there's a reason, but it’s one I can’t find
    why we have to lose you, as you lose your mind
      thus devoted to family and God each good day
  now you fight as your dignity slow-strips away

as you don't seem to notice that I'm even there
    I tell you “I love you” while I rise from my chair
      I straighten your pillow and you give me a sigh
  (I've annoyed you again), my eyes are now dry

I drop your hand gently when my visit is done
    to my shock you hold on, say "I love you my son"
      I turn back around, kiss your forehead goodnight
  "please, watch over him, Lord, he has fought …

the good fight."







~ 1st Place ~  in the "What Do Your Children, Parents Or Best Friend Mean To You" Poetry Contest, Jeff Kantor, Sponsor.

Copyright © Gregory Richard Barden | Year Posted 2017

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Line Gauthier Date: 6/9/2018 9:36:00 PM Wow - what a delightful read. Masterfully penned. Congrats on your well deserved gold medal win, Gregory. Login to Reply Gregory Richard Barden Date: 11/2/2019 8:54:00 AM Thank you so much, Line, that's very kind of you - blessings, friend! :o) <3

Susan Gentry Date: 5/31/2018 10:29:00 PM Big sigh... a beautiful and heartfelt tour of emotions. My dad doesn't have the tools either. Several years ago it was suggested that what matters is for me to be the best daughter I can be... I still insist on a hug when he'd rather handshake (yeah) but knowing it isn't about me helps. He just doesn't have it to give and I don't expect it. Anyway, this is beautifully written and definitely a winner. Login to Reply Gregory Richard Barden Date: 6/3/2018 10:38:00 AM Thank you so much, Susan, I so appreciate the kind comments. I think many fathers of their generation were never taught those things, (both my dad's parents were cold), and yet I made the conscious decision to hug and kiss my kids until they told me to stop, (they never have), and I still wish my dad had done similar. Still, I've come to terms with it, and the other day in the hospital he took my hand and told me how much he loves me, (which blew me away), which made this win all the more powerful for me ... and quite ironic. Blessings to you, my friend. <3

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart Date: 5/31/2018 10:27:00 PM Congratulations Greg! I remember this one. Je t'embrasse xomo Login to Reply Gregory Richard Barden Date: 6/3/2018 10:35:00 AM Thank you so much, Mo! <3

Roy Pett Date: 10/17/2017 7:26:00 AM Such a beautiful tribute Gregory, I have certainly found writing has eased the pain of losing a loved one though the pain never leaves for long, my thought are with you and yours. Login to Reply Gregory Richard Barden Date: 10/17/2017 9:25:00 PM Yes, it is very cathartic for me as well, Roy, and such a healing process to turn those difficult feelings and moments into something creative - that's the same reason I write dark poetry - to turn those dark experiences into something beautiful, and purge them. Thanks and blessings, my friend!

John Hamilton Date: 10/4/2017 3:15:00 PM Now Greg, look what you went and done! I'm crying like a baby, it's so sad when a boy becomes a man without his fathers love, but like you said in your last poem about your father, you mentioned he wasn't given the tools, mine neither, but I forgive him. Hey Greg, when you get a chance listen to Dan Hills I am my fathers son, another tear jerker. Login to Reply Gregory Richard Barden Date: 10/5/2017 4:35:00 AM I sobbed when I wrote it, my friend, so don't feel bad ... it's a hurt that goes deep and a hole we'll never fill, but we must move on. I have forgiven my dad also, but I can't shake the pain and emptiness and longing there, though I refuse to let it anger me anymore. That's something, I suppose. Blessings, My Good Friend! :-) <3

Russell Sivey Date: 10/4/2017 6:35:00 AM What a fantastic ending to your amazing write my friend! You have written such a thrilling poem with all aspects of your feelings for your father! I couldn't imagine my life without my Dad! I would be lost, without that loving support he gives I would be wandering aimlessly around looking for a way forward! Ok, I have my wife, and my mother, but my father is the rock of the family! The security blanket! I really loved reading your amazing piece this morning, what a brilliant poem, Great work!! Login to Reply Gregory Richard Barden Date: 10/5/2017 4:33:00 AM Thank you very much, Russell - I'm so glad you have such a wonderful relationship with your father - it is something that I miss more than anything. I tried and tried, but he was not given the tools. So, I made sure I loved my kids like crazy, and broke the chain. Blessings, my friend!

Michael Vacek Date: 10/3/2017 11:39:00 AM That was a great mistake. Your poem that is but might not have been. I'm very fortunate to have a great relationship with my dad. My son as rough and tough as a boy can be...he gives the best hugs. Login to Reply Gregory Richard Barden Date: 10/4/2017 2:05:00 AM Thank you so much, Michael, I'm so pleased that you have such a wonderful relationship with your dad ... I tried many times to change things, but my dad was just not given the tools. Thankfully my mom was very loving, so I changed the pattern with my kids, and I hug them and kiss them whenever I can, (even though they're in their 30's!), and I'm very close with all of them. My son is a rugged guy and an amazing tattoo artist and carpenter, but he also loves good hugs. The hole with my own dad will never fill, but none of us have "perfect" lives, and I am thankful for the amazing provider he was. Thanks again!

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart Date: 10/3/2017 7:41:00 AM *sniff* sweet pen Greg xomo Login to Reply Gregory Richard Barden Date: 10/4/2017 1:59:00 AM Much appreciated, Maureen! :-) <3