Notes About The Poem
5/19/2026 for Pick-A-Title Vol 57 Poetry Contest sponsored by Edward Ibeh
The Geometry of a Shared Bed
“Geometry takes for granted Euclid’s axioms and deduces its theorems.” ~ Bertrand Russell
“The reason I am a success as a lawyer is because I studied Euclid. I learned how to demonstrate.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
Are you having trouble with your spouse,
with whom you share a wedding bed?
Well, you're in luck. I have advice, you louse.
Listen, or you'll sleep with the dog instead.
Ah, the geometry of the shared bed -
I'm afraid we must begin at the start,
and get Euclid's postulates in your head.
Before you know it, you'll be smart.
Let's go through them one through five,
if you want to return to wedded bliss.
From these, the rest you can derive,
and once more, you'll earn a hug and kiss.
"A straight line segment can be drawn joining any two points." ~ Euclid's first postulate
Your sweetheart seems a mile away?
Any two points can meet.
You know you love her. Please be sweet.
You know what you have to say.
"Any straight line segment can be extended indefinitely in a straight line". ~ Euclid's second postulate
She said, "Hit the door, and just keep going"?
You must change the way the wind is blowing.
What is it you didn't get?
You forgot the first postulate.
"Given any straight line segment, a circle can be drawn having the segment as radius and one endpoint as center." ~ Euclid's third postulate
She won't touch you with a ten-foot pole?
You're in the doghouse without parole?
That doesn't seem like too much fun.
Go back to postulate one.
"All Right Angles are congruent." ~ Euclid's fourth postulate
All right angles are congruent, that's true,
but, until you get the first postulate in your head,
all wrong angles are congruent - that's you,
and with good ol' Fido, you'll share a bed.
"If two lines are drawn which intersect a third in such a way that the sum of the inner angles on one side is less than two Right Angles, then the two lines inevitably must intersect each other on that side if extended far enough." ~ Euclid's fifth postulate
Your excuses sound like postulate five
and the other nonsense you contrive.
You know you were wrong, and you blew it.
Go to postulate 1. Say you're sorry! Now, get to it!
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