The Fridge

Monday It has come to my attention, that someone has been stealing from the communal fridge. I notice that my own personal milk with my name on the bottle is half empty, also three fingers of my KitKat are missing. Please refrain, or action will be taken. Tuesday It has come to my attention, and I’m pleasantly surprised to see my milk has been topped up, though, why two fingers of my kitkat in a V sign just beggars belief. Just tasted my milk, you dirty bastard. I will now be monitoring the fridge from my office. You will be caught. Wednesday It has come to my attention, the camera monitoring the fridge is now monitoring the ladies toilet. This is intolerable, you are usurping my authority. Heads will roll. I will now be moving the fridge into my office until further notice. Thursday It has come to my attention, my office has been penetrated, the fridge is missing, and I find a ransom note on my desk. I don’t know who you people think you're dealing with, but let me leave you in no doubt, I will find out who you are, and you will be dismissed. Friday It has come to my attention, a delivery of fifty fridges is cluttering up the whole building, management is going ballistic. I concede to your demands, please get rid of them. Let us get back to you taking my milk and my biscuits, my job, my life. Just leave me alone. Thankyou.