The Four Pound Problem

As i sit there staring back at what could be considered, the biggest, defeat that ever faced me. Being tempted by the savoring aroma along with the idea of sinking my teeth into such a prize. Can't seem to pull away like some unknown power beckons me, to face my challenge with great pride. Delicately, removing the top part only to find the main attraction that is the center of it all. Enlarging the monstrosity of it all, like builders would put together a building as it goes upward. Finding more and more to add to it, and wondering how my human sized mouth will finish this off. Giant sized now, and looking at it sit there in front of me with eyes wide as my mothers sauce pan. Handling something this large has never been handled before by anyone in my family, for we're human. Isn't this illegal or should it not be illegal, for humans to devour such things as this one now. Just thinking of it sitting in my stomach makes me feel rather large, and now i start to ponder. Kids gather around my table with big eyes and daring smiles, just waiting to see if i can conquer. Losing all hope of backing out of the deal, starting to consider the best way to start digesting. Men and women stand around cheering me on, as i break into a cold sweat and start losing my senses. Nobody has ever done such a task as this, and i begin to wonder about my own sanity at this point. Oh how my stomach starts to turn and grind, as it receives anything it can get for it's been hungry. People gather around from miles and miles wanting to see if i make it, or if i will fall off my seat. Quietly i chew and chew, and chew some more as my mouth works and my eyes blink in great surprise. Relishing the last bite i see I'm still alive, and can't believe i made it, with not a crumb to spare. Surely i get a t-shirt, or a prize of some kind, for achieving such a heroic action and living still. Truly people will remember me, and chant my name up and down the city streets for many years to come. Unfortunately reality sinks back in quickly like a tidal wave, and I find that my sides stick out round. Violently i fight and tug with a pull to get myself out of the chair, and away from the now smaller table. Whining to myself but out loud uncontrollably about how i should have never done this, and now I'm stuck. X-rays taken and doctors come to visit me, telling me I should have never ordered that four pound hamburger.