The Five Word Challenge - the First Daughter of Eve

My Father, 
See the little serpents slither
Among the Wolfsbane, the Foxglove and the Daffodil
My mother distains the creatures,
And fears the beauty of my garden
Though I see splendor in their movement
They dance carefully in the night,
The moonlight shining on their freshly shed scales

Why are they punished for an ancient wrong?
Why are they hated for their doings? 
Am I like the snakes, in my father’s eye?
A limbless mistake? A falsehood you know,
As they wait to accuse,
And always abuse? 

Fallen Lucifer laughs in the crevices,
As he has taken my brother with the rock of another,
My desires remain in the ground,
Among the burrowing creatures round
For it is a falsehood you know
That we, the children should be blamed
For a wrong made by the very ones who made us
I will dance in the moonlight,
I will water my beautiful, poisonous plants
And I will live and die like the ones before me
I will bear others, and keep watch of their growth 

6/4/16
For The Five Word Challenge contest, hosted by Timothy Hicks
Five words used: 
Lucifer 
Know
Wolfsbane
Always
Little

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016



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Date: 3/12/2025 7:22:00 PM
Reading this gem again Laura. Your voice in this poem is so keen, inquisitive, and youthful...almost a hurried whisper, it's beautiful. A FAV! as well...J.A.B.
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 3/12/2025 7:40:00 PM
Justin! <3 Thanks for coming back to this piece. Your presence means the world to me. I revisit your old pieces often. Thanks again for your valuable support. <3 Laura
Date: 6/13/2016 8:28:00 AM
Congratulations Laura: Fun to see where these words took you, Word challenges are awesome. SuZ
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/15/2016 10:44:00 PM
Thank you lots! :) <3~Laura
Date: 6/10/2016 8:23:00 AM
Laura, your five words have guided you to a deep dark place but a beautiful write full of doubt and denial and a very unique point of view.
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/10/2016 11:31:00 PM
Thanks, James. I suppose the words "Lucifer" and "Wolfsbane" guided me down a darker path. Your kind comment is much appreciated. <3~Laura
Date: 6/9/2016 6:54:00 PM
what a fascinating poem you came up with using your words. Wow, a GREAT poem and placement. Congratulations.
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/10/2016 12:33:00 AM
Hey Andrea. Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed! :) <3~Laura
Date: 6/9/2016 2:58:00 PM
This is jaw dropping poetry really,congrats Laura!
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/10/2016 12:32:00 AM
That's so sweet of you to say, Sara. Super glad you could stop by! Many thanks for the heart congrats. <3~Laura
Date: 6/9/2016 12:02:00 PM
This is worth reading again and again, and digging deeper to all the pain and double meanings that seem to be so beautifully written but somber and sad. Excellent!!
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/10/2016 12:31:00 AM
Thanks so much, Carrie. So glad you enjoyed the poem. <3~Laura
Date: 6/9/2016 10:23:00 AM
Congrats Laura, for your top placement with this wonderful, deep, and dark piece
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/10/2016 12:30:00 AM
Thanks very much, Teddy!<3~Laura
Date: 6/9/2016 7:47:00 AM
Congratulations Laura, very well done. What trials it brings of a first daughter...
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/9/2016 7:53:00 AM
So true!! Thanks for stoppin by, the congrats is very much appreciated. ~Laura
Date: 6/9/2016 12:31:00 AM
I was super stoked to find out you entered one of my contests, Laura! I know you don't delve into contests too often, so this was a fun surprise for me ... I don't know if I've read your Lucifer poem yet, but that definitely is a curious word to pop up in your Top Poems ... lol!
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/9/2016 3:06:00 AM
Haha! Yeah, I wasn't really surprised to be honest.. XD Thanks again my dear friend! <3~Laura
Date: 6/9/2016 12:29:00 AM
This was one of the most unique entries on my list, and I must say, it captivated me. I just LOVE biblical and extra-biblical musings, especially on Genesis where much of the action takes place. I've often wondered myself if there was anything positive to say about snakes, and whether a hereditary guilt has been misconstrued. After thousands of years we are still questioning these things. Congrats on your 3rd Place win! Come check out my blog, if you get the chance, and tell me about your poem!
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/9/2016 3:02:00 AM
HURRRAAAYYY!! : D Thanks so so much for the placement, Timothy. And since I adore you to bits, and the contest theme was super awesome, I decided to enter it and give it a try. I'll check out your blog soon! <3~Laura
Date: 6/7/2016 8:05:00 AM
Epic and evocative and would tempt the good in us to visit with our darker side.....great write...
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/9/2016 2:58:00 AM
Thanks, Peter. You're a deep thinker, and truly a positive influence - I love that about you. <3~Laura
Date: 6/5/2016 6:15:00 PM
Your defiance is so seductively dark Laura...you will refuse to be condemned for your nature, for your gothic beauty...your garden is a kingdom...you are dangerously beautiful Poetess...J.A.B.
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/6/2016 12:00:00 AM
We are snakes at times - hungry, strange, and earthy, often mistaken, often misunderstood. Thank you for reading this one, dear Justin. I've been meaning to write about a daughter of Eve for some time now<3~Laura
Date: 6/5/2016 2:50:00 AM
This poem is written very well Laura. A superb ending to a really fine entry! #7 ; )
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Laura Breidenthal
Date: 6/5/2016 3:07:00 AM
Thank you Connie ( : I figured, well, gottah throw in Lucifer, let's make it semi biblical. XD<3~Laura
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