Laura Breidenthal | + Follow Poet |
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The Fickle One

*Note: This was made on July 2nd. I honestly forgot I wrote it. It was mostly written in incoherent scribbles. AND NOW IT'S A MASTERPIECE. Just kidding. It's....uh... a fickle drizzle of thought let's just say. ;)
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Ideas...ideas....
Trying to find a certain balance of genius
Within this tired dollop of foolishness...
Craving excitement....messy...indulgent words...
I never knew the difficulty would rise so substantially under such little pressure

You don't see me, do you..?
I'm not so good at these damn writes, about you...

When I look out of the window of a car,
Sometimes I get lost in myself
I feel so pensive...often, very sad...
Like I'm in a movie, and I am missing someone, or something
Almost as if I am lost in the death of a loved one
But it's not usually someone in particular
Other times it is...

I think about his side of earth...
Yeah, him...

It gets crazy in my head from there..
I guess I harbor bitter toward people that will never feel the same way
Though I harbor bitterness from seemingly nowhere sometimes

My thoughts often go back to the majority of people
And how fickle we are
It's a little bit depressing but,
More annoying I suppose

I am strange...
There could be opportunities that I don't even see
I guess you can call it blindness
I don't know...I guess the first step of getting rid of the blindness
Is acknowledging the fact that you are blind...
Sometimes the darkness of not knowing is rather comforting...
Maybe I'm just writing from my ass, but who cares?

Laughter...I've done a lot of that lately
I guess it's difficult to get back to that groove, at least for me
I'm so emotional, it hurts
I sometimes wish I was more grounded...more realistic
I never ask for normality 
Because I don't think that there's anybody who knows exactly what that means
Whatever though; that's not really significant, is it? 

What is important though?
I'm not sure anymore
Maybe I do know; I just don't acknowledge it enough
I am better than that, aren't I?
I'm just so lost in myself..
I know I am better than this...
But who cares about me?
Shut up already!
Gain some perspective for once!

The bottom line is, I need to learn to love myself
Otherwise, I'll become the fickle one.

Copyright © Laura Breidenthal | Year Posted 2015

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Eileen Manassian Date: 7/24/2015 12:20:00 AM I read this one earlier, Laura, but am coming back to post a comment. It was quite a journey of musings that you took us on. I know the reality of those final lines. :) Sometimes we seek recognition and praise for others to understand our self-worth. The answers lie within. Hugs Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 7/24/2015 3:14:00 AM Thanks for reading! I appreciate it! Thanks for such a thoughtful comment. : ) Always, Laura

James Marshall Goff Date: 7/23/2015 7:47:00 AM Hi Laura, writing from stream of consciousness often, in my experience, achieves the raw "half-thought" of good poetry ( which mankind needs to attempt healing, alas, may be to late) for me at least, i usually let it sit on the page a few days, then edit duplicating words, confusing sequences etc...."harbor bitter" i don't believe you! for such beautiful poetry to emerge from your mind, one harbors only love (does not exclude awareness!) good poem! jimbo Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 7/23/2015 7:29:00 PM Thank you sooooo much. Your comment here made me smile. I like your intriguing compositions, with vivid imagery of nature. Really fascinating stuff, can't wait to read more from your page! ~Laura

Duke Beaufort Date: 7/21/2015 6:22:00 PM Also, some of us are impressionable. We could take up what sounds good today, but think it was really stupid tomorrow once we got into it. It's not so easy to discern what you are, but whatever it is; it is lovable and talented! Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 7/23/2015 7:27:00 PM Yeah, I doubt myself too often. I'm a little nuts, getting better... : ) You are the sweetest. Can't get over how awesome you are! ~Laura

Duke Beaufort Date: 7/21/2015 6:20:00 PM OMG Laura. This is just completely full of self doubt, but it's presented with charm and an element of grace. I just love it. It brings a huge smile to my face. We are mostly all mostly stuck in a rat race. I have realized that it doesn't take much to be happy. Follow your heart as I know you do, and you will be the most powerful voice in the universe. It will begin with you!! (Whatever it is). Or maybe it won't, but it sounds good. If not you, then who? Keep up the fun!! Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 7/23/2015 7:27:00 PM Duke, Duke : ) Thanks for your kindness...~Laura

Ovidiu Bocsa Date: 7/20/2015 3:51:00 AM Stunning, shinning thoughts looking for the beauty of balance f knowledge, acts and feelings.Congrat. Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 7/21/2015 2:31:00 AM Ovidiu... I love your name... also, thank you so much!!! Glad you could enjoy this mess of a write! ~Laura

Justin Bordner Date: 7/20/2015 3:42:00 AM As if I needed another reason to love you, this enchanting, inspiring glimpse into the wry humor of your hurt and life wonder is simply refreshing, and humble beauty which is just flicking along the surface of my fickle heart Laura...what's important is that you don't sacrafice the acute beauty of your mind for comfortable illusions my Gothic Princess...this poem is so real and adventurous...your ass writes very well...and your new avatar is breathtaking...Justin Login to Reply Laura Breidenthal Date: 7/21/2015 2:28:00 AM Hahahhaha! :D You're so so sweet Justin. You mean the world to me dear, and I love you more and more each time I have the special opportunity to read your work and be uplifted by your glowing comments. ~Laura