The Female Eye
i'm not sure how old i was when i realized the cruelty of men
maybe it was when i was first touched
back when i thought touch equated to love
trust and faith
or maybe it was when i started growing a chest
and all the men would stare and yell
as i held my favorite disney backpack close
a barrier
maybe it was when i believed men held the capabilities of genuine friendship
before i learned they always had to take
friendship never came for free
it cost me my soul
and yet he walked away
untouched
maybe it was when i realized
all the blame i held onto my mother
hatred fueled by her supposed wrong doings of my father
her kindness and patience towards me
towards him
his quickness to bash her
was the doing of my father
the reason behind the pain of no parental guidance in my youth
maybe it was when i got into my first real relationship
quickly realizing the truths of my mothers warnings
when i gave him all my fragile mind and soul had to offer
only for the new and shiny to catch his gaze
and have his love unveil in front of my eyes
letting me crash and flame away
without a single sense of remorse
maybe it was when i still attempted to provide him with all the care one could give
without a single sense of appreciation thrown upon me
maybe it was when i realized i am nothing but a woman
only deserving of their respect when i wear crop tops and lashes
when i look my best and never at my worst
when i offer them my body as a way of thanks for their mere actions
when the benefits no longer exist for them to reap
all sense of respect and admiration disintegrates without a thought
im not sure how old i was when i realized the cruelty of men
5, 13,17,19
21,30,50
infinitely experiencing the cruelty produced
by those produced by me
and my mother
and the infinite circle of the creators of life
Copyright © Isabelle Belice | Year Posted 2023
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