The Female Eye

i'm not sure how old i was when i realized the cruelty of men maybe it was when i was first touched back when i thought touch equated to love trust and faith or maybe it was when i started growing a chest and all the men would stare and yell as i held my favorite disney backpack close a barrier maybe it was when i believed men held the capabilities of genuine friendship before i learned they always had to take friendship never came for free it cost me my soul and yet he walked away untouched maybe it was when i realized all the blame i held onto my mother hatred fueled by her supposed wrong doings of my father her kindness and patience towards me towards him his quickness to bash her was the doing of my father the reason behind the pain of no parental guidance in my youth maybe it was when i got into my first real relationship quickly realizing the truths of my mothers warnings when i gave him all my fragile mind and soul had to offer only for the new and shiny to catch his gaze and have his love unveil in front of my eyes letting me crash and flame away without a single sense of remorse maybe it was when i still attempted to provide him with all the care one could give without a single sense of appreciation thrown upon me maybe it was when i realized i am nothing but a woman only deserving of their respect when i wear crop tops and lashes when i look my best and never at my worst when i offer them my body as a way of thanks for their mere actions when the benefits no longer exist for them to reap all sense of respect and admiration disintegrates without a thought im not sure how old i was when i realized the cruelty of men 5, 13,17,19 21,30,50 infinitely experiencing the cruelty produced by those produced by me and my mother and the infinite circle of the creators of life