The Empty Shell of Me

I lie and I hear, A shouted cry, A desperate plea, Silently asking why? Cast in stone, No feeling, no pain, Cried myself to sleep, And the act was still my own. I lie and I hear, A tearful mourning, Death of the past, In this cold morning, My life went by so fast. I think that it is over, Now the silence, The silence of betrayal, The tears replaced, The act well played. I think of yesterday, When it was all so, Simple. I think of the end, Perhaps tonight, my friend, Perhaps I’ve known it all along, Perhaps in fairness, I don’t belong. If feeling described, If hurt and horror cried, My whispered scream, Could wash it all clean, I would scream and scream, Meaningless sincerity. Now I sigh, I close my eyes, I close my heart, My act continues, I play my part. The silence of betrayal, Screams violence in my heart, I hate this, I hate it all, I need to fade, My pain, hurtful fall. I want to end, I want surcease. I wish for distant thunder, If only to make this scene dramatic, It is far too real, I wish for rain, The drumming on the roof, Is good for hiding pain. I hate what has been done, I hate what they have become, I wish the pain would go, I wish that they could know. The anger is leaving, What is left is worse, My life is weaving, You are the curse, The reason, the hate. And why? For what benefit? I ask, and am not answered. The anger is returning, Life normal, I am yearning, I am losing all awareness. Where is the fairness? Perhaps if I scream, Perhaps if I leave, Perhaps it is too late… What can I do? What can I do? Another silent plea, I am dying inside, What does reside, In the empty shell of me?