Caren Krutsinger Poet Prose Poetry

The Dna Dance

And for Christmas we have received from our children DNA tests.
Tests to say whether we are outstarts, downstarts, upstarts, or slowstarts.
I already know that I am a re-start, as I re-start things over and over and over.
But the point is, our children were interested, and so now I guess we are too.

The procedure is easy. They send you a test tube with a stopper and a little cork lid, and a mail back box.
You spit ten times into the test tube, put the stopper on it, make the little box up, 
Pop the spitted-up test tube into the box, and mail it in to the FBI if I was guessing.
They probably then check you against all of their data bases for criminal activity and send back results.
I figure they had a creative writer make up sixteen to twenty patterned results, and they choose one.

I received my results and was disappointed as I wanted some great slices of something ethnic,
Exotic, some proof that I come from Africa or Turkey or South America. Nothing wonderful like that happened.
I had some Swedish, English, Pennsylvania Dutch, Scottish, Irish, common stuff, nothing exotic  or fun.
My husband who had been bragging for years that he is a hundred percent German, as he thinks they
Are all smart is sitting in a stupor, 
Pouting that he has a teeny sliver of German, and something else I have forgotten already.
But the great news is, he is more English than the English who now live in England.
Quite disappointing as we cannot even understand them on the T.V.

Great Christmas present.
Thanks Girls.

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Tony Hargreaves November 11, 2018 at 9:41 AM It gets me thinking. DNA results could be fed into the global (or universal) computer; then 'big brother' knows everything - for good or evil. Take care. Tony Caren Krutsinger November 11, 2018 at 9:57 AM I knew as I was spitting that I was going to be arrested for something later, yet, I am a people-pleaser, so I spit away.

M. L. Kiser November 6, 2018 at 12:59 PM That's a lot'ta english! I love it. Caren Krutsinger November 6, 2018 at 1:20 PM I had to howl with laughter about it.

Jon Gutmacher November 5, 2018 at 7:36 PM he is more english than the english now living there -- What a great line! Caren Krutsinger November 6, 2018 at 7:27 AM And my husband is still in disbelief, stating his results are faulty; he is 100 percent German, not a mutt like me.

Rhona Mcferran November 5, 2018 at 3:35 PM Hahahahahaha! ;D Love this!! So disconcerting to actually learn one's heritage when we've been told all these handed-down stories over the years (in addition to what we imagined)! Great poem! Caren Krutsinger November 6, 2018 at 7:28 AM Thanks Rhona. We never really cared, but I did want to be ethnically fun!