The Day the World Fell Apart

It was unseasonably warm for Winter sun shone bright cool breeze blowing but not even cold and I was just walking along, not knowing the world, as we knew it was about to come apart Then that piercing scream ripped through my heart heart pounding and pumping, feet pounding, running suddenly cold all over despite warm sunshine tingling numbness tracing up my spine, silent shock- unable to speak for hours (or was it days?) all the ways my life had changed in that instant came home to me, cluttering my mind, unable to find a coherent thought everything jumbled and caught in the maze of my brain. Feeling insane to actually feel relief in this tragic moment, beyond belief... so relieved that the world finally mirrored what I felt inside what I had had to hide for so long- suddenly set free, to be sad, to be me confused, unsmiling, terrified strangely unified with everyone else... as they saw reason to feel it too Looking at me, so small and so tragic, they had no clue that I had been this way all along, smiles, laughter, songs mere smokescreens to disguise, my creative shield of lies to protect me from their eyes their penetrating stares, pretending to care, yet wordlessly whispering their disapproval of all the things that were wrong with me, namely that I could see just who they are and what they've done. But trauma won, and allowed my sadness to take form, unspoken words unheard, yet more powerful than any they could say- helped me find my way back to truth and back to me, back to some semblance of reality... And with or without them I learned to survive, managed to even thrive and know it's okay to hurt, or grieve or cry, especially when you have good reason- but also when you don't know a reason at all just let the tears fall, for your heart is sometimes smarter than your head, feeling the weight of things said or the damage they've wrought, things you thought you had forgot still stored in your brain fusty fragments that remain, still effect your emotions your will to get up and go, the truth cannot be contained, tamped down or restrained, but unfettered must fly free- like birds in the air swooping down, landing where needed, like vultures circling the decay down below, the truth circles above and closes in on what must be cleaned up, though it's graphic abrupt rottenness ripped out and devoured from view truth clears the carrion of corruption, leaving only what's true. And I revel and delight at this gruesome sight weary of being the only person smelling rotten flesh, sickened by my plight, I welcome this barbarous bird with all my might Here, my Birdy come get some! Here, you missed a bite! So while everyone mourns this broken world, and thinks I met a tragic fate I carry on contentedly since my face matches my inner state two worlds have come into alignment, and though they're broken, yet in my view- they're now a more accurate depiction of what I find to be true