The Day I Heard I Had Hiv
The day I heard I had HIV
The letter from the health department read like this in so many words: “Your lifestyle has caught up with you and you have been a naughty girl. You have contracted something possibly, but we wanna make sure it?s positively HIV.”
Now, it didn't mention those 4 capital letters (AIDS), knowing that was the only test I took, didn?t make it better. So I called the number and made the appointment, now reflecting on all the days of my enjoyment, considering I am only 23, with plenty of life ahead of me, and yes I have BIG dreams.”
Two days from now comes the answer to “it”, do I or do I not have is the question, I reminisce on all the days I was promiscuous and WOW, I hadn?t realized how reckless I had been not listening to the words of the wise.
The day has come and in the office I begin to pray “Dear God, please forgive my sins I didn?t know what I was doing.” My heart begins the beat of fear; the butterflies have come out of their cocoons, floating in my belly as I enter the room.
The counselor comes in with her paper and pen, I try to see her facial expression, but there is none. “Well young lady your test came back positive, so according to the CDC that means you have HIV, but don?t give up hope you can still live your life, just not as carefree as you may wanna be.”
She broke everything down and gave me some literature to read. My next steps were to see a doctor for more testing and locate the one who infected me, a task I focus on fearfully.
I get out my old black books and cry as I sit on my bed, here I am 23, HIV positive and scared. WHY! I scream this is just a dream, but the pinch didn?t wake me, just bruised me. I?m dying because my ignorance has overcome me.
After 2 weeks of calls and threats on my head, the clinic calls I thought to check on my progress, only to find out my paperwork was mis-interpreted and my test was really negative. She called to apologize for the mistake, but I was already on my knees thanking God for his mercy and grace, and another chance; I realized then to become abstinent because having unprotected sex is a deadly game to play.
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