The Crab
You wish me to say those words,
To love you
Surely you mean to win me
As I exhale my expostulations
Some hidden truth
That you think you understand
You mean to squeeze out of me
Some sacred confession
As I engorge your pride
With poisonous lies
You want me to love you
You demand it of me
And I pale!
I pale at the thought of such a declaration
I pale at the past
As it stings me every which way
I cry out and bleed over it
I remember his sweet voice
I remember his hands
As they held my love
Soon all of it was his own
All of it was there in his palm
He watched it crumble away on him
Dead orchids destined for earth's soil
They fell away, inevitably
And my dust left no blemish
You want me to say it still
But I pale as I remember
The promises he made
To me
They meant the world
And yet,
It was I who begged in the end
It was I who reached out
A planet orbiting a star
With no reply
With no reaction
And he blamed depression
He blamed himself
And all of life's bustle
I let the currents take me
My voice drowning in the universe
I have grown accustomed to these ghosts
Passing through irrevocably
Trusting only in themselves
Indulging in their pleasures
I go through them everyday
They only exist
Because I scream them
And you, the crab
Retreat into your shell,
Ostensibly wounded by my refusal
You save your pincers for another day
I will reach inside your core before I say it
I will cross ecstacy's shore
I will lace my fingers in your softest part
And I'll watch your eyes
As I find the glimmer where it lies
Feb 25, 2018
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