The Calling

Lord, I now know Dismiss these tears, For they are just tears of joy My tears of anger My tears of remorse And my tears of fear Have been dammed by the realization That I am ultimate And an unbelievable testimony to my peers An inspiration to all You are the only one that I fear How in the world did you Manage to recover a depressed soul Manipulated by her own depression? Depressed for years about trivia Trivial things My weight, for I was a chubby fool My intelligence, for I was a dumb-founded soul The acceptance, for I yearned for approval Your acceptance, for I thought little about I was completely hollow with layers Of materialism, Self-gaining views, And instable morals High school totally changed my outlook on life I cried so many nights because I wanted to be happy And I wasn’t I lost my sanity, I lost my spirituality Dismiss those tears, Lord They were tears of vanity I now know, I am a walking testimony From the old façade…you saw right through me Lord, you really challenged me You gave me a friend who wanted to die And I felt I had to save A friend who liked girls But a girl herself she was raised Alcohol abuse and fighting, I would see every night My cold heart couldn’t… wouldn’t render For the sight would kill my might Deceitful females and egotistical males They didn’t care about me Never did But I was consumed with their acceptance And the lies they kept hid You blessed me with a gay brother To whom I love to death You gave me heartbreak and rejection You gave me acid for each breath Adversity in school I worried what people thought You gave me the pills that were in my hand And the death plea that I sought You tested me I cried, feeling weak Dying young, my Lord I seek Fading away, falling deep Being selfish as I weep Dismiss those tears, Lord They were tears of pride Tears of sorrow Tears to subside You called me here, Lord To testify How could I have said no i dont care why I had an epiphany of faith And your burning love never tired I’ve been through painful things So that my purpose was to inspire The stress had a motive And to build me, you had to break me Lord, I know now To receive my calling, You had to save me You saved me Lord You saved me