The Calling
Lord, I now know
Dismiss these tears,
For they are just tears of joy
My tears of anger
My tears of remorse
And my tears of fear
Have been dammed by the realization
That I am ultimate
And an unbelievable testimony to my peers
An inspiration to all
You are the only one that I fear
How in the world did you
Manage to recover a depressed soul
Manipulated by her own depression?
Depressed for years about trivia
Trivial things
My weight, for I was a chubby fool
My intelligence, for I was a dumb-founded soul
The acceptance, for I yearned for approval
Your acceptance, for I thought little about
I was completely hollow with layers
Of materialism,
Self-gaining views,
And instable morals
High school totally changed my outlook on life
I cried so many nights because I wanted to be happy
And I wasn’t
I lost my sanity,
I lost my spirituality
Dismiss those tears, Lord
They were tears of vanity
I now know, I am a walking testimony
From the old façade…you saw right through me
Lord, you really challenged me
You gave me a friend who wanted to die
And I felt I had to save
A friend who liked girls
But a girl herself she was raised
Alcohol abuse and fighting, I would see every night
My cold heart couldn’t… wouldn’t render
For the sight would kill my might
Deceitful females and egotistical males
They didn’t care about me
Never did
But I was consumed with their acceptance
And the lies they kept hid
You blessed me with a gay brother
To whom I love to death
You gave me heartbreak and rejection
You gave me acid for each breath
Adversity in school
I worried what people thought
You gave me the pills that were in my hand
And the death plea that I sought
You tested me
I cried, feeling weak
Dying young, my Lord I seek
Fading away, falling deep
Being selfish as I weep
Dismiss those tears, Lord
They were tears of pride
Tears of sorrow
Tears to subside
You called me here, Lord
To testify
How could I have said no
i dont care why
I had an epiphany of faith
And your burning love never tired
I’ve been through painful things
So that my purpose was to inspire
The stress had a motive
And to build me, you had to break me
Lord, I know now
To receive my calling,
You had to save me
You saved me Lord
You saved me
Copyright © Kaima Akarue | Year Posted 2006
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